I don't eat kittens for lunch

changes

2008-06-13T16:34:00.002+10:00

Man it feels like light years since my last post.

Since my last post in 2007 I have:

Changed 2 jobs and am now in my 3rd, moved house thrice, got a new housemate I absolutely adore to the point we moved out together (odd when you think about it) and have been hideously ill about twice. I have also, been to Europe

Oh. and I was burgled just 2 weeks ago. Apparently burglary is on the rise, and no, Today Tonight didn't tell me that.

The good news is that I'm loving the new job, despite the crazy hours.

It's been slightly over a year since the tidal wave of life came and swept me away, but I have to say, I'm liking where I am at the moment. A nice housemate, a nice job, a nice place. I think I'm content.

Hello.

sometimes the view still takes my breath away

2008-02-27T23:55:00.001+11:00

Some days, I really miss this city.

picking up the slack

2007-09-02T00:58:00.000+10:00

I'll admit. My blogs of 2007 have mainly been fairly half-hearted attempts.

So it's my resolution to actually write properly from now on. Just so I can look back at my own posts and not get bored.

My last random AND boring post for the year:

I saw a blue bunny today. You read right. Blue, like the sky when the sun's shining. It was a natural white bunny, as given away by its telltale red eyes, but yes, its owner must have thought it cute to dye the poor thing blue and attach a fuschia pink leash to it.

I wonder if it hurts albino skin to have it dyed since albinos are so sensitive to the external environment. HMMM.

I did.

2007-08-02T17:28:00.000+10:00

Go get your vaccine today girls.

Colonial Tales

2007-07-24T22:17:00.000+10:00

While serving a customer some coffee today, I discovered rather startling facts about her.

She probably won't mind a little publicity, so I'll put her up. She's a Nina Simone impersonator with a tribute show she does at The Butterfly Club. She also does quite a few electronica things in line with say...Sarah McLachlan remixed.

What really got me though, was that she said her great-great-grandparents used to run Sierra Leone and they sold it to the British in exchange for tobacco and alcohol.

HOW CRAZY IS THAT?!?

How many people do you meet who can tell you that? "My great great grandparents sold Sierra Leone"

Whoa.

My maids back in Singapore used to tell me that their grandfather signed the handover document from the British back to Burma (back when it was called Burma) for their tribe, although the Burmese then took total control, sparking a huge civil war, and he became a guerilla.

And I had another maid who was a Tamil in Sri Lanka with an abusive husband who could pass himself off as Singhalese, and she used to tell stories of the Tamil Tigers while teaching me classical Indian dancing...

I thought that was so exciting back then...fighting for a piece of land and some rights you believed was yours...and now I've met a person whose forefathers clearly believed that you could sell it all up for some tobacco and alcohol.

It's a crazy world out there.

2007-07-16T19:50:00.000+10:00

I'm just wondering exactly how many transexuals I can see in one day. I'm not even located anywhere near a gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender area.

2007-07-12T23:53:00.000+10:00

my remaining tattoo plans are crystalising.

When researching, I came across the real meaning of lorem ipsum:

A mangled fragment from Cicero's De Finibus Bonorum et Malorum ("On the Limits of Good and Evil", 45 BC), used as typographer's filler to show fonts (a.k.a. greeking). An approximate literal translation of lorem ipsum might be "sorrow itself", as the term is from dolorum ipsum quia, meaning "sorrow because of itself", or less literally, "pain for its own sake".

And you wonder why the hell lorem ipsums cause people in advertising so much pain.

Longing

2007-07-12T22:20:00.000+10:00

I read this in paper form a long time ago (2002, according to its author) and I've always found it to be one of the best pieces of writing I've ever read.

http://www.sophiecunningham.com/features/longing/

and I long for many things, I just know not what most of the time.

I supress lots of things, and longing is one of them.

Picture post

2007-07-11T22:33:00.000+10:00

God I love my new phone.

Filter's most excellent eggs. To quote Bryan Adams, thought I'd died and gone to heaven.

Botanical next!

The rooftop of Bimbos. They've done some neat things since I last frequented the place- which was right before Adam died.

Creatures from The Dreaming were roaming the streets right outside the Koori Heritage Centre today. I thought they were really cool - one even had glowing red eyes. They never spoke, but were really friendly!

Listening to: Faith No More- Epic

etiquette

2007-07-11T12:03:00.000+10:00

I miss Katong

2007-07-01T21:25:00.000+10:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katong

2007-06-30T21:38:00.000+10:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_T-RGXKGS8

the Transformers rap.

Tuesday. I'm holding out till Tuesday.

toilet cubicles and wrong calls

2007-06-27T00:10:00.000+10:00

You know that really annoying toilet cubicle door that only opens sofar and not a millimetre more and you have to squeeeeeze through?

yeah.

well, I was at Palms today and they had one of those toilet cubicles where you couldn't even do the chicken dance if you wanted to. (And if you do, I don't want to know)

It was a good thing my butt's gotten soft from lack of gymming of late, because I really had to squish my way through. Really not good for the bladder.

Also not good for anyone larger than a size 6, which boggles the mind when their specialities are so fattening (but so, so good).

What about fat women? Are they relegated to the disabled toilet? Are we as an Australian public finally recognising obesity as a disease? Is size 8 fat?

All these questions!

Relieved and back at the table, (getting out was the easy part since the door opened inwards) I then proceeded to sms a friend to tell her I was 15min late.

Of course, I had to sms a prospective employer instead. No, make that the MD of a prospective firm.

not a minute later, I received this reply

"Hi sway, sorry to hear you're running late! I'm still overseas...how are you? MD (prospective firm)"

My guardian shakes his head disbelievingly at me. I have an attack of the giggles.

I finally end up writing

"slightly late thank you, thanks for your sms, seem to have my MDs and Friends mixed up. Hope it's not some godforsaken hour over there. Catch up when you're back!"

Since there was a difference of about 19 letters in between the MD's name and Friend's name, he must think I'm ultra-friendless.

May be good for job prospecting. *dry tone*

Listening to: Wrapped Around Your Finger - Tori and Bjork's remake of The Police

Sexy never left, he was waiting for the right email

2007-06-26T23:33:00.000+10:00

Recently, Steely-eyed met me up.

"You seen what Samantha posted on the thread recently?" he asked with a glint in his eyes.

"What?" I ask, munching on pasta.

"Go take a look. She said her usual stuff, blah blah...and then said that I was the sexiest manager in the world"

I proceed to choke on said pasta.

Sure enough, on the thread is her post blah blah blah....visit the branch here occasionally, still think Steely-eyed is sexier than the managers here.

RIGHT.

So I spend the next lunch we have together bagging the crap out of him until my friend The Architect calls.

"Hey babe, having lunch with Steely-eyed. You remember him, my ex-boss?"

"SEXY ex-boss" he calmly smiles from across the table

Archi hears it and laughs. I shoot him my dragon lady stare

"sexy ex-boss he says," I repeat calmly into the phone as he smirks

"No lack of self confidence there!" Archi exclaims,

"Uh, none at all." I say, staring at Steely-eyed as he sits there mouthing "SEXY" at me.

I end the conversation fairly quickly before shooting him another glare as he looks just about set to start rapping "If sexy never left then why's everybody on my ca-a-a-a-aase" and paying for our lunch (my turn to shout, plus it was his birthday).

Which means that this is an official complaint letter to my dear friend "Samantha", who knows exactly who she is. LOOK AT THIS BEAST YOU HAVE CREATED. MAKE IT GO AWAY.

and by the way. drop him an email, you can't cock tease like that. It's cruel.

2007-06-23T21:11:00.000+10:00

mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww!'"

on the road.

coffee love

2007-06-22T21:35:00.001+10:00

on a toilet wall in Brunswick St.

friends

2007-06-21T21:18:00.000+10:00

Home is where the heart is, and right now, home is on 5 different continents.

I spend days varying between thinking that this is a good thing, or that this is a bad thing.

Somedays, I think that no matter how many times friends leave, it never gets any better. Somedays, I think I'm a better person for it, and that at some level, I'm so used to it that anything can happen and I'll react a lot better to it than so many other people. Somedays, I think it makes me an emotional fucktard.

you know you're an expat kid when...

2007-06-17T19:45:00.000+10:00

1. You can't answer the question, "Where are you from?" (And when you do, you get into an elaborate conversation that gets everyone confused
and/or makes you sound very spoiled.)

Yes

2. You flew before you could walk.

yes. and I don't remember it.

3. You have a passport, but no driver's license.

Well, I do. But I don't drive.

4. You think California is cold.

Maybe not.

5. You watch National Geographic specials and recognize someone.

YESSSS!!!!!

6. You run into someone you know at every airport.

Almost.

7. Conversations with friends take place at 6:00 in the morning or 10:00 at night.

YES!

8. Your life story uses the phrase "Then we went to..." five times.

uh, nah.

9. You can speak with authority about the quality of various international airlines.

YES.

10. You feel self conscious around all white people.

hmmm. sometimes?

11. You get offended when someone turns down an offer for food.

I've since learnt not to.

12. You live at school and go home for vacation.

I used to.

13. You know the true meaning of "football." (and in your mind can hear the shout, "GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!")

uh huh.

14. You know that it truly is a small world.

Yes.

15. You are used to being stared at.

Unfortunately.

16. You think VISA is a document stamped in your passport, and not a plastic card you carry in your wallet.

Yeah.

17. Your dorm room/apartment/living room looks a little like a museum with all the "exotic" things you have around.

Not anymore.

18. You've woken up in the middle of the night to watch the Superbowl on cable.

HAHAHA.

19. You know the geography of the rest of the world, but you don't know the geography of your own country.

nah. Singapore's too small for me not to know it. Although I nearly got killed by someone because I said Holland Village was in the North. erk. I base it around the CBD ok?

20. Your best friends are from 5 different countries.

minimum!

21. You're spoiled. You know it. You're VERY spoiled.

I'm not. I never was, but everyone else was!

22. You ask your roommate when the cleaner is scheduled to come clean.

No, but I wish it alot!

adventures on the high winds

2007-06-07T00:33:00.000+10:00

After a week of crazy weather (keep in mind it's been raining ever since), the crate men's 2nd coming at Victoria Park are still holding up.

The last 2 of the original 4!

Friday

2007-05-31T22:04:00.001+10:00

The beginning of the rest of my life.

Ripple

2007-05-29T20:00:00.000+10:00

Jehan, a friend of a friend's, was featured in the business section of The Age recently and I've stumbled upon what I consider to be one of the best online products I've come across in a long time.

http://www.ripple.org

The premise is sound and doesn't actually encumber anything or in fact require you to go out of the way by any stretch of imagination. Also, he (and his co-geniuses) wins bonus brownie points from me because the charity I volunteer with is included in his "Give" list. AND on the cause that I'm working on! Go Jehan!

I forwarded it around the office today and even had a contractor (one of the best in Australia) tell me it's very good. So there you go Jehan, if you read this, you've been annointed.

He also hosts a radio show on SYN FM for you Melbournians out there, and was responsible for the "Eat It While It's Hot' music video doing the rounds on YouTube.

I'm going to be using Ripple as my search platform now. and click those ads a few times a day. Microsoft can afford it.

Listening to: Rufus Wainwright- Do I Disappoint You

It's all in the delivery

2007-05-28T22:45:00.000+10:00

It is all in the delivery isn't it. Sometimes, all it takes is the perfect actor to bring a role to life. A certain intensity, a certain presence. Sometimes it takes a special person to bring a message to the masses. All the world's top academics could talk till the cows come home, but it's that one person with the drive and conviction and charisma to make the world sit up.

Imagine some of the greatest movie performances of all time, and try to imagine anyone else in that role. Sometimes, something that seems to inspiring and convincing seems insipid or even laughable when presented by someone else. Imagine if it was Derek Zoolander who had delivered the "I Have A Dream" speech instead of Martin Luther King.

And so it was, that I heard Ben Harper's version of Sexual Healing.

Don't get me wrong. I like Ben Harper. His She's Only Happy In The Sun is one of my favourite songs. His Excuse Me Mr. is songwriting gold. But his version of Sexual Healing freaked me out.

It was too earnest, too emotive, too...needy.

When Marvin Gaye sang the original version, it was basically a horny song. It was like Barry White's songs. Blatantly sexual with an energetic vibe and innately tongue in cheek almost, it's apparently what couples have been making love to in the last decade or two.

but that's exactly it. Because of it's very nature and delivery, it inspired lots of spoofs (Owen Wilson comes to mind as one of many) and kept that funny, blatantly horny but energetic vibe. I mean, when I hear it in the background, if I'm feeling silly, I do have a tendency to get up and over-enact the words with scrunched up eyes and lots of falsettos and balled up fists with angst-ridden emphasis.

Ben Harper on the other hand, has taken the total opposite tack. Sometimes it works (Tori Amos singing Stan, Basement Jaxx's Romeo in acoustic, Baz Lhurmann's treatment of The Police's Roxanne), sometimes it doesn't.

Has anyone heard the lyrics? Carried out with such insouciance by Mr. Gaye, it suddenly seems creepy stalker guy who lived down the hall and wrote bad poetry when sung by Ben Harper. It seems, needy...creepy.

Read some of the lyrics without prejudice and tell me it won't sound creepy if sung by some balladeer.

And baby, I can't hold it much longer
It's getting stronger and stronger
And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing, oh baby
Makes me feel so fine
Helps to relieve my mind
Sexual Healing baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me

Whenever blue tear drops are falling
And my emotional stability is leaving me
There is something I can do
I can get on the telephone and call you up baby, and
Honey I know you'll be there to relieve me
The love you give to me will free me
If you don't know the things you're dealing
I can tell you, darling, that it's Sexual Healing

Baby I got sick this morning
A sea was storming inside of me
Baby I think I'm capsizing
The waves are rising and rising
And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing is good for me
Makes me feel so fine, it's such a rush
Helps to relieve the mind, and it's good for us

Sexual Healing, baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me
And it's good for me and it's good to me
My baby ohhh
Come take control, just grab a hold
Of my body and mind soon we'll be making it
Honey, oh we're feeling fine
You're my medicine open up and let me in
Darling, you're so great
I can't wait for you to operate
I can't wait for you to operate
When I get this feeling, I need Sexual Healing

*shudders*

Listening to: Propellerheads ft. Shirley Bassey - Just a Little Bit of History Repeating

Wayne

2007-05-25T23:53:00.001+10:00

http://www.waynethunder.com/

I'll be streaming P10 if I can find a stream.

boo hoo. cry me a river.

2007-05-21T22:13:00.000+10:00

The Break Up
Uploaded by geertdesager

beautifulpeople.net

2007-04-24T21:23:00.000+10:00

While waiting for Mena Suvari to call me (No, she just looks like Ms Suvari) and trying to digest lunch (Monash Uni chicken risotto) and recover from my day off today which entailed 3 suburbs and a lot of dairy products (some weekends, I need weekdays to recover) I decided to try and make the longest, most pointless sentence ever. I was also trying to fit in the fact that I was supposed to play badminton tonight as well but came home due to unsuitable footwear.

Well, that, and checking out the much touted beautifulpeople.net.

(Click on link in subject header)

Have you tried clicking it? Try it. I mean other than the fact that you will apparently see the world's most attractive singles, you will also find that beautifulpeople only supports Internet Explorer 5.5 and above.

Apparently while there's an 80% rejection rate on the site and only the truly beautiful can turn up there as voted by other beautiful people, they won't even allow the accursed mac or firefox users to even access these visions of beauty.

given the mac ads that have come on lately... sure pc, permission given to view beautifulpeople.net. HAHAHAHAHA. Whoever designed the site needs to hire some interactive designers.

I think I'll just have to resort to perving on real people...as soon as Mena calls to tell me where the hell I'm supposed to be.

Reading: Good Omens. and I am laughing my ass off.

In memory of the good times

2007-04-24T01:03:00.001+10:00

Ahhh Nicky, here's to Friday afternoons, your so-gay blue sparkly cowboy hat and skateboarding on wooden floorboards down the office corridors. This song will always remind me of you, well, maybe you and DJ trying to open a bottle of pink champange in vain. Or you doing your extremely convincing gay impersonation. If you must know, The Nibbler ate your anatomically correct naughty cookie man. So much for me assuaging your last-week ball obsession. Have a good one mate.

I'm back.

2007-04-23T20:37:00.000+10:00

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

am considering another move. you know me. can't stay in one place for too long.

dimmeys

2007-03-30T12:42:00.000+10:00

For crying out loud. Dim Sims are about as Chinese as fortune cookies, mushu chicken, chop suey, fruit curry, Singapore noodles, Hong Kong noodles or beef laksa (which isn't Chinese to begin with).

Now get out of my face.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dim_sim

I like the shorts

2007-01-10T01:50:00.000+11:00

How untrue. This thing's not very good.

well, maybe except that 2nd last sentence which may explain the crazed freaks.

Love thyself

2006-12-19T15:23:00.000+11:00

Remember to love thyself despite all the Christmas gluttony.

Zero to Hero

2006-12-04T19:45:00.000+11:00

You always hear about the total nerd who leaves school and becomes The Hotness. You know, all those movies that thrive on it. The Queer Eyed nerd, the brainiac hiding behind coke bottle glasses who suddenly becomes hot for that one magical prom night and has the ruler of the school fall head over heels. Then the nerd turns ruler down because they don't love the person behind the face...and then...they end up together anyway.

Or the Voted Ugliest Person In School person who comes back at 5 year reunion as the Hollywood Star. You know. The George Clooneys of the world.

Yeah. Well.

It doesn't happen in real life as I know it. Or so I thought.

Until I bumped into...well, let's call him um, Lanky. Ok. So Lanky in college was just that. Lanky. Everything about him was lanky. In fact, he was more gangly than lanky. He even had lanky hair. It looked unwashed most of the time, and always hung limp and stringy.

BUT. He was a great guy. I used to hang in his room. In fact, he was such a nice guy I occasionaly even scrubbed his sink for him when it turned too grey to bear. I was happy to. I couldn't really keep up a conversation when he was doing battle with a supermage now could I. I mean, the rest of us tried. But the sonic booms emitting from those speakers with sub-woofers and surround sound proved a little too difficult to outshout.

In fact, he was so nice, he seemed to be a hit with the ladies. Nevermind the glasses, the hair, the chicken legs or even the unhealthy obsession with blowing things up.

After college though, we lost contact and I thought that was that. I didn't even think about him much, except in fond memories of 3am nacho guzzling and 6am final paper writing ICQ/MSN conversations. (the conversations go along the lines of, "screw those birds, why are they singing. My god, the sun's up. Man I need more caffeine")

Fast forward what must be close to 4 years. Maybe more.

I'm minding my own business on a sunny Saturday, wandering around the swankiest part of town with not a scrap of makeup on my face, in bag lady clothes and my too-short hair pulled back in a haphazard ponytail.

Enter some random tall guy in dark sunglasses staring at me. I glare back at him. His friends seem friendly, if a trifle geek-chic in a tres chic area. Why is this freak staring at me? What? I'm too ugly for Toorak? Just because he's got the geek-chic look down pat. GAH.

Then he pulls off his clipon sunnies. And I realise it's Lanky.

Lanky with much nicer hair. Lanky with a buff bod. Lanky with a refined college professor look to him.

Eh?

I gape for a second, before my brain finally clicks over. It takes me a few more seconds to remember his name. "Lanky!" I cry. The smile that I used to classify "crooked" suddenly seems wry and strangely charming.

He's still recognisable, but geez he scrubs up well. The coke bottles have been replaced by thin wire frames that suit his face. He's still not devastatingly handsome, but he's charming enough for girls to consider him good-looking in a nerdy way. He's what that professor from the Da Vinci Code SHOULD have looked like. Not Tom Hanks.

He has a presence and stillness that seems to belong on gentlemen. The Pierce Brosnans of the world. My head is not comprehending.

He's still the same though. He gives me a big hug, and we chat. We exchange email addresses (ah, so that's what his surname is, I'd forgotten!) and we catch up with the goss on old friends.

And then we part ways, leaving me gobsmacked at what I'd just seen.

My first, real life, metamorphosis.

People gape when I do my geek freak to cool chick routine every so often, but I have to say, I never realised why people started and stared. And now I know why.

And it scares me that we're all such a bunch of superficial saddos.

Listening to: Charlotte Martin's remake of the Rolling Stones classic- Wild Horses.

2006-10-31T00:27:00.000+11:00

Slinky winky, lost your password. Again! again! Can you give me your password again?

Most excited about: My 1st hens night. This will be the 1st I've been to, because all my other friends just went and got married.

Going to: Sail away, sail away sail away.

Am: Sick

Happy: Halloween!

Want: Fake tan, more money and to do so many more things than my life will allow.

Love: The new Third Millenium range, Les Mills and restarting my dance lessons. The flowers in my lounge.

The adventures of Nose Hair Man pt3.

2006-09-02T16:27:00.000+10:00

If anyone's been reading me since my old days, you'll remember dear old Nose Hair Man.

Nose Hair Man, for those of you who aren't in the loop, is some weirdo Spanish dude with a huge thing for young asian girls. I don't know how he picks them, but he does. He usually walks round the city in a suit carrying a briefcase, and tells girls that he works as a chartered accountant "over there", usually pointing towards the Spencer Street end.

When he once handed me his business card, it was a YAHOO ADDRESS. no friggin chartered accountant worth his salt is going to give out business cards with a yahoo address.

Anywhoo.....he's attempted to pick me up at least 3 times. (not including the one time he approached, but then turned away again for some unknown reason)

Anyway, today, while looking like total shite at 11am in the morning, carrying takeaway boxes to Lis' place, he tried to approach me at Vic Mart, complete with trolley. I was going to cross, but realised it was a red light, and stopped. He on the other hand (and his lovely 70s brown trolley) was so focussed on me he attempted to cross when I did and had to pull back later, causing his trolley to lose balance.

I nearly laughed in his face.

He still attempted to chat me up despite my unwashed hair and extremely fetching pimple.

Note to Nose Hair Man- pluck that offending nostril hair, and join a bingo club or something. I'm sure there are plenty of swooning MILFs willing to fling themselves at you on account of your European accent.

my diet is too high in media

2006-08-05T15:15:00.000+10:00

So....given the industry I work in...do magazines count as "educational"? hmmm.

Anyway. I've been on the MIFF trail. I planned it carefully- no movies with a very high chance of general/art cinema release to maximise my dollar. Which means I ended up watching Perhaps Love (Chinese musical?!? too bizzare to pass up. Especially when it stars the divine Takeshi Kaneshiro), Everlasting regret (Sammi Cheng doing a very impressive Mandarin accent) Three Times (Hou Hsiao Hsien, Shu Qi....yeah why not) 4:30 (Singapore's bad boy deserves my 15 quid).

But all these Chinese movies with a Shanghai nostaligia have made me hanker for those classic oldies. Teresa Teng is rating very highly at the moment. (bu zhi dao wei le she mo....) Everlasting regret....DAMN YOU!!!!

and then I found the hottest thing....the Chinese version of the Verve Remixed/Unmixed series. Shanghai Lounge Divas Vol. 1 and 2. hmmmmm......hmmmmm.....hmmmmmm......of course, given my crap Chinese skillz, I'll need to nurse the lyrics booklet in my lap with a Chinese-English dictionary in my hands because I hate not understanding what a song's all about.

I've also gone all Muslim in my video rentals of late - Paradise Now and Le Grand Voyage....and I'm waiting for the fallout of MIFF to come through including all the political movies. AL Gore's An Inconvenient Truth is sitting at No. 1 at the moment. GLOBAL WARMING IS GOING TO KILL US ALL.

You know I've been doing too much media consumption when the theme party tonight has the theme "Space Mutant and Farm Animals" and when someone asks me what I'm going as I immediately reply "How about....dressed normally. Then I can pretend I'm Kim Basinger from My Stepmother Is An Alien". When I could have said something like....A pig from Animal Farm? (after careful thought, I've decided that bunny is the best way to go given that a) I already have the ears b) I don't need to step too much out of character as a destructive pest)

Seriously humming: The Rolling Stones- It's Only Rock and Roll (but I like it)

Booze Schooze (Or how I ended up in a seedy joint and why someone offered to do me in the ass)

2006-07-08T14:40:00.000+10:00

WARNING. This is a rant with no point to it at all

I think it’s pretty safe to say I’m not a political animal. I hate playing games of any kind, even innocent ones like Monopoly and blackjack. I get tired after too many parties. And most importantly, I lack ambition. Well, I have ambition, just not enough to want to be nice to people I don’t like.

However, as it’s necessary to go for these industry gigs every so often, and because it looks great on my CV AND because I was nominated, I went for one of those dinners.

With Talchie and Grumpyboots, my wingpeople from the mothership, we turned up at one of those chi-chi bar/lounge/restaurants in St Kilda that everyone’s doing nowadays. As we turn up, we’re plied with gourmet pizza and wine and told on no uncertain terms that we have to mingle.

One hour later, we have a five minute speech about our roles, and then it’s back to schmoozing. Talchie, Grumpyboots and I split during the night so as not to seem too cliquish, and kept getting stunned by the sheer aura of schmooze. I’ll have to admit, on the outside, I don’t think any of us were faring any worse than the others. In fact, with the knowledge that we were reallyreallygoodlooking and armed with brilliant smiles and stellar intellect, I may have to say that we were workin’ the damn place. (although in this industry, every person and their manicured dog is reallyreallygoodlooking and armed with brilliant (porcelain veneered) smiles and a 50-50 mix of scathing wit and intellect or just really good looks and a whole lotta charm. The occasional dumb person does slip through the cracks, but I suspect they don’t last very long.

Totally wasted by the ravages of schmoozing and the effects of alcohol, we walked out into the cold winter night…and into the pub right across the road. “Look!” cried Talchie, “none of that pretentious bullshit!” she yelled as the Carlton Draught neon light reeled her in faster than you could say “drinks like a fish”.

We found a pub that looked so greasy it could have belonged in any number of Brit movies about the underprivileged underclass. As the bartender leered at Talchie while she ordered 3 beers, we looked around at the difference between chichichic and downdowntown.

There were toothless old men with tar-stained teeth, and the odd lady who really did look like she could have had a role as an extra in Kath and Kim.

As we sat down to our beers, we were not-so-quietly chatting amongst ourselves when a big, no, GIANT bosomed lady leant down beside our table and asked for money for her company.

We said no, and suddenly realised other things we hadn’t noticed before. Like how there were no other women in the bar. Or how the blackboard on the wall actually said “Happy Hour- Topless Barmaids 5-6pm. Strippers 8-30 through to 11.30 hourly shows”.

Hmmm. HMMMMMMMM.

Grumpyboots kept trying to leave because he hadn’t packed and had a 5am flight to Brissie. I kept trying to leave because I suddenly realised the men really were leering at us and it wasn’t just my imagination.

And there sat Talchie. “BUT I Haven’t finished my beer yet!!!!”

10minutes of hassling later, Talchie got up. But only after some tradie in too-short-shorts (pubic hair sighting would have been imminent if we didn’t avert our eyes) tried to grab her shoulder.

As we walked out of the pub, we tried to sort taxi arrangements. Grumpyboots and Talchie lived in the opposite direction. But as one appeared over the horizon, and Grumpyboots told me to get in, Talchie got in instead….right when a group of 3 other tradies started offering to do us in the ass.

Now I hate to sound all conservative and narrow-minded. But let’s just say that being ass-fucked by a guy I find extremely unattractive and whom I additionally don’t know makes me very unwilling to compromise myself.

So I jumped into the cab as well.

Which left Grumpyboots there, yelling into the cab, One Of You Has To Get OUT!!! And when we both refused, he jumped in mumbling “I’m not going to be left alone to some butt pirate”

Halfway round the world later (to quote a very drunk and grumpy Grumpyboots), I got home, and as Talchie tells it, Grumpyboots was filled with “I hate you” comments about having to travel to get home.

Being the nice, good Samaritan I am, I actually woke up at 5am to make sure Grumpyboots got to the airport on time. And went to work fuelled by a gargantuan cup of coffee. (funny, I just typed copy. I’m going crazy)

I tell you. These ungrateful boys. I call them to make sure they’re up, and not being ass raped and they complain about driving halfway round the world for the favour.

I think you just answered your own question

2006-06-14T08:59:00.000+10:00

June 9, 2006
The English debate
The Education Ministry announced on Monday that they are setting up a new initiative to improve the teaching and learning of English in schools.
Has the standard of English in Singapore declined in recent years? Can English and Singlish co-exists? Why are some students finding it hard to speak standard English?
The STI podcast team finds out.

-from the Straits Times landing page

2006-05-29T22:01:00.000+10:00

my ex-lecturer's been implicated. Hmmmm. she never minced her words- was bound to piss a few people off.

I have so much to blog about. so little time. in summary, I've been learning alot about aparthied. (think gimme hope joanna)

dyed my hair, cut it, (I look more orphan Annie than choc brown- which is what I was going for)

and I have $68 till the 15th.

I also may have a wheat allergy to go along with my whole host of others. oh. and one more time with passion- I'm growing fat

Listening to: Smashing Pumpkins - Landslide

Splat

2006-05-21T17:55:00.000+10:00

yeah. yeah yeah. I did it again. I fall flat on my face...after tripping over my own left foot.

I am so good at this shit.

This time, it was my boots. The laces came undone, but instead of untying, they just kinda pooled around my ankles in a lasso-deathgrip until the time came to put my er, right foot forward. Then I simply tripped on lasso, went on a minor upward trajectory before landing splat in the middle of a parking lot. flat.

deathly silence for 2 seconds.

Magicman staring down at me. "Are you ok?"

Tara laughing like crazy "God, that looks like it really hurt."

together "are you ok?"

What was really going on in my head was "thank god I'm wearing nice underwear".

not as random as you think when you consider that I was wearing a short plaid skirt...with my knee high boots. It's a hot look if I may say so myself...doesn't show much skin, but gives the impression that you are, all the while your flab is pretty much covered up and your good bits are pushed up and out, lean and long. Really quite appealing so long as you're not flat on tarmac in dead person white chalk outline pose.

Also not if you've got a silent suspicion everyone's looking at your ass because you're not too sure whether your skirt has flipped up or not.

So yes, my pain tolerance is pretty high...and yes, that was what was actually running through my head.

So I get into the car, and Tara asks if I'm bleeding. I look down, realise I am, and Magicman hands over the tissue box.

I'm trying my best to make light of the situation...

"OKAY Magicman, I get the idea! I promise I'm not bleeding all over your ride ok?"

and he's just giving me this traumatised look (I'm getting surer by the minute that he's seen my ass)

and BECAUSE Tara and Magicman both work with me, I'm also silently praying they don't spread it all over work. Turns out they don't, and I'm the only one having to explain mysterious scrapes and bruises on my knees.

"My boyfriend pushed me down the stairs" is my favourite, and since I'm staunchly single, I really don't think he minds.

THIS POST WAS PROUDLY BROUGHT TO YOU BY OFFKILTER'S INSISTENCE, everyone's HELLO AND SWOLLENBLINK'S BIRTHDAY.

2006-05-06T17:12:00.000+10:00

It's all up to me.

meme from kavi

2006-04-14T16:24:00.000+10:00

1. A song by a Beatle: Imagine by John Lennon

2. A song featuring piano as the main instrument: A Sorta Fairytale – Tori Amos…although it does have a synth drum…uh…..Speechless- Jay Chou

3. A song with a woman's name in the title: Lola…L.O.L.A LOLA…lolololo lola

4. A song with a man's name in the title: BILLY Jean? Jimmy Dean??? (That really old song- about Blue Jean Baby Queens?) update: it's called Rock On. Darn.

5. A song about money: Love Don't Cost a Thing- J.Lo

6. A song with weather in the title: The Four Seasons- Vivaldi

7. A song with parentheses in the title (these are parentheses): Pride (in The Name of Love) – U2

8. A song made by a punk band: Self Esteem- The Offspring (before they sold out)

9. A song with the word "song" in the title: A Song for The Lovers – Richard Ashcroft

10. A song you love so much you stop and listen whenever you hear it/put it on repeat mode and never get sick of it:
Ohhh. Uh.

Sting- Fields of Gold, Elvis Costello- She, Nina Simone, U2- One, Stuck in the Middle with you, 7 Nation Army – The White Stripes, Cocteau Twins, Faye Wong- Chesspiece; Stef Sun- Teh Oh Oh, Andreas Johnson- Glorious. Cake- Daria. Chunari Chunari, Balle Balle! (I'm such a closet curry), Collective Soul- Run, Massive Attack- Teardrop, Placebo- Every Me and Every You, Destiny's Child- Jumpin Jumpin', Nelly & N*Sync- Girlfriend, Seal- Prayer for the Dying,

I actually have a playlist of stuff I can listen to on repeat. This is part of it…can't remember the rest. Some portishead in there, and a lot more RnB

***

I love super-long weekends.

hellloooooo is anyone out there?

2006-04-09T17:02:00.000+10:00

somehow, this blog has been so neglected I'm surprised it hasn't started sprouting ivy and moss off the sides instead of falling grey autumn leaves. I don't think even my old faithfuls back in da singapura read this anymore.

In case you're wondering, I'm at an internet cafe ($3/h- not bad)

anyway. work is fine. except that I seem to have no idea how everyone else manages to live off $2000 a month. I mean, sure Magicman lives at home still (which explains it), and some others live in Preston and whatnot, but surely I can't be eating THAT WELL that I'm always broke by the end of my financial month???? geesh.

so as an update. Last night I met a gravedigger.

He had some really interesting things to tell. For example, a family plot in my head was always like a family vault. You know. Like pyramids sort of, you cordon off an area, and that's it. It's the Smith Family Area. Hands and feet off assholes. and no plucking the daisies either.

Nope.

Apparently, a family plot means you're buried one on top of the other! How's that?

and there's a really advanced science into the measurements of the hole, how to make sure the earth doesn't collapse in on you...all that stuff.

I was fascinated right through two drinks.

Also met a few people from work, finally figured out who the mystery Sudler and Hennessey girl was...and trafficdude was there at least half drunk and playing pool like a demon.

Salsaed a little with people who didn't know how to so we all just er....booty shook a little, before I caught a taxi home to call...who else but good old mum.

I've said it once, I'll say it again- Mum really should have thought about the repercussions when she sent me off at 14. Like me dead in a ditch of a drug overdose on any given weekend when I'm meant to call her and she's "worried sick" waiting for the phone to ring (but never actually picks up the phone to call).

Anyway, must remember to call gramps for her birthday. I always put it off because I don't understand the Cantonese she speaks (I USED to, and she thinks I still can) and I kind of go "yeah, ok,m uh huh". Although it's odd because...she understands English and Mando perfectly. Ah well.

It's nice and cold today, I'm loving the coldweather. this spacebar thing is annoying but I don't mind...especially when they're playing Prince's Purple Rain overhead.

Oh yes, I went on the blog rounds. SLINKY, if you still on the offchance read this, for gawdssakes, give me your password.

rant

2006-03-07T18:24:00.000+11:00

If you see a badly pixelated version of my face appear on some poorly-made nude photo found online, it's not me. The boys at the backpackers opposite may have sold it to some online sleazebag vendor.

It all began with soap.

This is not as hot and slippery as it sounds.

What REALLY happened was, I was watching TV with my housemate, having a chat, when we heard THINGS being PELTED into our balcony. We rushed out, and we found bars of soap with the words "Sleep with Me" on the cover.

The boys were waiting with a camcorder, filmed us, and we threw them the middle finger.

Last night, I was watching TV again (I don't really watch that much TV, but I make an exception for Supernatural) and suddenly, FLASHES started bouncing off my WALLS.

Turn round, this time the guys were leaning out the window taking pictures.

So, as a public notice, waaaaaaaaaaaaay before any naked pictures start showing on the net, you now know they were fake.

***

Also, I was emailed a list of conditions of when and where I may be exempt for taking the IELTS test. For those of you not in the know, IELTS tests for your English proficiency.

PLAIN RIDICULOUS!!!!! I score in the top 3% of my year level for VCE English, and they MAKE ME TAKE AN IELTS TEST.

FOR $240.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Well, begging your pardon for my erroneous assumption that you don't have faith in your own education system.

I went on to the IELTS test site where they ENCOURAGE people to try sample tests before the date, and one of the written questions (15min) was this:-

In 150 words, please DESCRIBE (emphasis my own) the following graph. [penalisation occurs if you go over the word limit]

What FOLLOWS, is an annual report of the number of people taking public transport in the last five years. A breakdown into "Bus, train and tram" include percentages.

I LAUGHED. You don't even want me to analyse the damn graph? Just DESCRIBE????

Okay.

+ According to this graph, the number type of transport is specified on the X-Axis. The total number of people utilising each mode of transport is recorded on the Y Axis. Using the column graph, we can then glean information as to the exact proportions of the population taking public transport.

A further breakdown into the TYPES of transport and a chronological comparison by year is also reflected in the X-Axis, presumably so as to conduct a comparison between not only the overall number of people taking public transport each year, but also to help analyse whether people-flows are moving to other modes of public transport. +

*brain implodes* (for the record I took 5min)

The next question takes 45min. Do you believe that the government's recent legislature to ban smoking in all public areas counts as reducing freedom? (despite the fact that it's good in some ways?)

or something to that effect

250 words.

OH MY LORD.

then the reading test.

This section provides a sample of Part Two of the Speaking Module. There are three main parts to the IELTS Speaking Module. In Part One the candidate answers general questions about themselves, their home/family and other such personal topics. This part lasts about four-five minutes. Part Two is sampled below and in Part Three the candidate and Examiner engage in a discussion of more abstract issues and concepts which are related to the topic in Part Two.

Speaking Part Two Sample

Describe a teacher who has greatly influenced you in your education.

You should say:

where you met them;

what subject they taught;

what was special about them;

and explain why this person influenced you so much.

You will have to talk about the topic for 1 to 2 minutes. You have one minute to think about what you are going to say. You can make some notes if you wish.

*keels over*

I have half a mind when they ask "personal questions" to say things like

"I have multiple personality disorder, but I'm taking medication. It's funny you know, one of them in an Oxford Arthurian literature professor named Dr. Dumbledore. Sometimes, he tells me that he's the one who bought over all those studio execs. and convinced them to film Tristan and Isolde. He's also most excited about Beowulf because it's not only one of the classics of Western literature as a whole, but also because it is set to star Angelina Jolie, whom he claims he'll turn straight for. Sometimes, I wished I could stop taking my medication so he comes to the fore, he's excellent at grandiloquent terms and would really help me ace this test."

But you were saying?????

Listening to: Bent - I Can't Believe It's Over

my excuses!

2006-02-26T18:53:00.000+11:00

my hard drive died, and I'm bumming at a friend's place.

went to hunter valley and had a crazy week. Will update with photos soon. (none of me of course) We worked really hard, but played just as hard. It was good. and the rooms were enormous.

It was crazy mad- including a frog that had a staring incident with me. HAHA.

In the meantime, I thought I'd tell you that I managed to burn myself ironing (yes, yes I know), blister myself making apple pie (charming) and blistered myself a second time bloody alum key turning while putting together a shelf. and I have another to put together this weekend.

I NEED A MASSAGE. oh my poor delicate hands!

Promise to update you all soon. After I wash all that laundry.

listening to: Chris Brown- Run It Up.

2006-02-16T19:51:00.000+11:00

I decided to haul my lazy ass in for BodyJam this week, expecting the usual instructor who takes Funk to take us for BodyJam. Turns out an instructor from Richmond came down instead.

I spent the entire lesson giggling as opposed to dancing because I had to learn the QUEENEST dance ever complete with flicks, madonna moves and parting imaginary curtains before clawing in a most seductive-but-disco manner.

If you don't understand what I mean, watch an episode of Queer as Folk.

****

I'm off to Hunter Valley on work next week. Cheese for Gerri, wine for the house, and Krispy Kremes by the tonne for everyone else. Sounds good?

Listening to- Fiona Apple Criminal

in case no one gets it, this post is sarcastic

2006-02-11T21:47:00.000+11:00

not been online because I don't have a computer. bumming and unceremoniously hijacking friend's comps while they slave over a hot stove.

2 weeks in and I've made so many boo-boos it's a wonder they haven't fired me yet.

yay me. must be my natural charm. that and my unsupassed barista kung-fu.

been cleaning like a madwoman and still receiving bites. it's odd. I'm convinced there's an insatiable evil mosquito on the loose somewhere in my office AND at home, hellbent on making sure I die of blood loss before my PR application can be rejected.

Oh to live on borrowed time and life on the edge. It's no wonder I fling myself out of planes.

AND. I'm still saving up to try and go home in May.

life is so hard.

Poochy Keen 2

2006-02-05T03:47:00.000+11:00

Apart from poochyboyone getting Diesel to pose with bags to send over to bryanboy, we also had PoochNation's launch that I mentioned in the last post.

What you guys don't realise is that I spent most of my time laughing my ass off at them Poochy People because well....ok. Take a look.

While I was slaving away in 130% office monkey mode, dear old poochyboyone was er, trawling the streets in post-apocolyptic Melbourne with the Pooch Nation sign, and matching dog. What? Who said he was dressed to match the dog? The dog was MADE to look like him! See radioactive tongue? yeah well, we tried to make him keep his tongue where it belonged. He wouldn't listen!

(and now we know for sure, post-apocolypse, the trees will be purple and we'll all have blue-tongued lizard genes)

Of course, there were heaps of people staring at him, and ~~sure enough~~ soon enough, the Japanese tourists started flocking.

And we all know that when Japanese tourists start taking photos, they never stop and a queue starts forming. In further proof that China is taking over the world, the Chinese tourists started asking for photos too! Shot #8, Pose #3.

Even the parents decided to get in on the action, "Hi" back to you cool dude with the ray ban sunnies and sad sad outfit.

By the time I was out to lunch, poochyboy was NOWHERE to be seen despite the fact that he claimed he'd walked around my area. (and I'd run out for lunch specifically to see if I could see him and laugh at him while pointing and giggling Asian schoolgirl teeheehee style)

He even had a brush with the law, when a security guard decided to take his name down justincase he was protesting. erm.....sure. ok. We're carrying a giant placard selling services and you say we're protesting. How much more capitalist would you like us to get??? Do we need to put in a "I had 300 calories today, that is so not sexy" statement down the bottom?

Whiffing: Diesel's farts. (because I'm a moving refugee)

P/S I've decided that the "soooo not sexy" line is my phrase of the month, like, that is so not sexy.

yeeeesh

2006-02-04T23:25:00.000+11:00

Keira Knightly has a nomination for an Oscar? WHAT?!?! For Pride and Prejudice???? Double what????

everyone: packed up my mobile by accident when I moved house so I only just read my msgs today. Sorry I couldn't make it for the dumpling party, the job offer celebration, or the steamboat session you guys.

The boys are watching The Jacket outside, but the front bit tortured me so much that I'm in here blogging instead.

Poochy Keen!

2006-02-04T01:04:00.000+11:00

and so ends my 1st 9-5 5day week in a long long time. oof. and yet it's all gone past in a blink. Well, part of that may have to do with poochnation's launch, or the fact that I was homeless and bumming at bryyin and killingculture's place.

I mean, sure, it was more like 8.30-6.30. and once it was even a 7.30-6.30, but it had it's lulls and wasn't GOGOGO all the time. AND. I've already managed to inadvertently insult the boss during a company meeting. I sure have sure footing. I feel like a frog on a lily pad. Only heavy.

and I'm sure that my job description should really read "stalker" since that's all I seem to do.

How do people working office hours manage to run errands? No wonder there's internet banking and Bpay. But when there's bills to be paid, insurance to be done, and tons of other errands to run, how does one fit it in when all the damn shops close at 5pm?? I feel like I'm missing out on some special warp time that every other working professional seems privvy to.

I think I need to apply for a credit card so I can pay for my bills online.

I've also realised how disgustingly healthy everyone is. They're all about salads and detoxes (with 1 or 2 biscuits on the side). ech. me? I'm still scoffing. Not good when I seem to be steadily ballooning.

Met the clients I seem to also have insulted (gosh I'm good), slide. let it all slide. sllliiiiiiiiide.

I'm a short little girl. I can fit into a suitcase (believe me we tried once, they zipped me up, popped me into a lift and sent me down to the ground floor) I can hide for a while.

p/s Pam! Pad! I miss you! Did you get it Pad???

Watched: Initial D. Jay Chou reminds me of my cousin Smurf.

xin nian kuai le

2006-01-29T15:07:00.000+11:00

(P/S PLEASE watch cottage cheese thighs trackback on PopoZao. I laughed till I nearly cried)

don't even ask me how to say that in Cantonese. Sin Nian Guoi/Guai Lay? *cue racous laughter*

hey hey. At least I know it's Gong Hei Fatt Choy for Gong Xi Fa Cai ok?

Anyway, Happy Lunar New Year to all the Chinese, Viets, Koreans and Jappies out there. (and if I've forgotten anyone, feel free to add yourself in)

***

Anyway, I'm feeling extremely pantang (superstitious) this year due to all the recent huge upheavals in my life (new job, new place, waiting for my PR etc) and it always helps to err on the side of caution. So while I'm not exactly timing flowers to bloom exactly on the 29th of January and flying geomancers over from Singapore to come take a look at my place, and in fact I'm not even investing in a rabbit's foot or a four leaf clover, I am in fact, dressed in red, and wearing new clothes.

And I'm just slightly homesick for once, seeing that the annoying Dong dong dong chiang Chinese New Year music is not making me want to blow my brains out for once. And there's NO BUAH KELUAK.

Call me mean but I'm almost happy that the cousin whose mum makes the divine buah keluak is here, suffering from buah keluak withdrawal symptoms too.

Dammit. If only I could find some here, I'd MAKE my cousin cook it, exam or no exam tomorrow!

If anything, Melbourne weather seems to be conspiring to make it as homely for me as possible, what with an entire week of 30-40+ degrees of humidity. mmmm. sweat. ECH. I've grown 4 new freckles on ONE ARM just walking from apartment to tram stop.

(and if anyone wants to pass the message on to my mum, no, I still haven't tanned and still look like a little white mouse) I BLAME THE TEOCHEW GENES. Mum, it's ALL YOUR FAULT I'M SO PALE OK?

Went out for reunion dinner with the crew from ex-work (booked 2 weeks in advance), stuffed ourselves with duck at Old Kingdom which has a very entertaining owner. (Booyah for the way he cuts our duck man. and the way he's so pantang about the way we arrange our duck) Apparently he's from East Timor but speaks very good Mandarin and Indonesian.

then hopped into Chinatown where most of the shops were already closed, but we managed to catch a last round of lion dances dancing into the various restaurants (a bit early hey?). 2 lion dances stick out vividly in my memory.

1) when I was a kid and my grandma had a lion dance troupe in the compound, I was scared shitless of the loud noises coz it really really hurt my ears, and what the heck, those lions had antlers! and their eyes! eeek. They WINKED! anyway, I think the lion-dancers kinda liked me (orand pranced my way a little, which of course made me hide almost in tears, although I was really in awe of the way they caught the red packet hanging on the second floor off a bamboo pole.

2) In a hawker centre eating my food and some Bangladeshi workers were obviously hired to "do the rounds" kowtowing to the various shrines placed there, and even to some joss sticks stuck into a cucumber. That was a little disturbing to me.

***

Anyway, Bryyin just called and we were discussing red packets and how it differs even within each dialect group, and how my parents have the SAME discussion every year.

"Married already must give angpow"

"No lah, same generation leh"

"Aiyah, Cantonese custom not the same mah"

"you cantonese so mad one. Some more must give parents"

Dad mutters something in Cantonese under his breath.

"What did you say CJ???" (yes, my dad goes by the very cool moniker of CJ- even in real life)

heh heh heh.

Speaking of which, I just realised how traditional my family was, from only recently allowing girls to ackknowledge our ancestors (gramps was afraid no boy would be left to remember our ancestors coz her 5 sons were just spawning way too many girls)

to us having to kneel down to collect our angpows, and even my mum's heirloom shared with her 3 sisters - 3 sets of custom made 3D charm bracelets in yellow gold, intricately made to include things like an actual working set of abacus less than an inch LONG and a bird in a birdcage (and I don't mean out of one piece of gold). People really don't make things like that anymore.

Must find non-creepy temple to pay my respects this year I think. Maybe I'll just go to that 100% Buddhist one on Queen St because that South Melbourne one just gives me the creeps. (or when I visit my cousin we can both go to one of the Box Hill ones)

Listening to: Teresa Teng- The Moon Represents My Heart (yue liang dai biao wo de xin) because it reminds me so much goldfishmemory's mum. HAHA!

sighs

2006-01-27T23:25:00.000+11:00

PopoZao baby.

If only you paid more attention to Britney's PopoZao hey?

Related: Cottage Cheese thighs

and please, watch James Lipton read PopoZao. Bloody fantastic.

for chalyz (back when I had long hair)

2006-01-27T11:05:00.000+11:00

the other girls in the pic are photowhores with pics plastered all over friendster, but I'd still like to pretend to keep their identities secret. ;)

Besides. If anyone saw these pics and recognised my friends, they'd know where I went to high school.

P/S my right boob looks a little strange due to the angle, but fear not! My boobs may be weird, but they're not that weird.

Listening to: Theresa Teng- The Moon Represents My Heart

goodbye slinky minxes

2006-01-25T22:13:00.000+11:00

no pictures atm, but everyone knows the place I work at hires a large amount of hot chicks.

We've had a group of 3 chefs from Beaumauris come and tell us they used to come up once a week just to look at the girls. In fact, we've had various groups of guys come up just to look at the girls. We've had strange people think they can get away with foreign languages amongst our multi-lingual staff, saying things like "Why doesn't she stay awhile, let's create accidents or call her back" We've had weird stalker boys waiting for us at the opposite cafes. We've heard the lamest pickup lines. ("Baby, can you light my fire?" being the most common one)

Come to think of it, some people say our boys are pretty cute. Although, I'm kinda indifferent given that I see them everyday.

So imagine all of these hot boys and girls dressed up for a cocktail partay and voila. You have our staff late-X'mas party. (make that very late)

It was quite successful as far as the party itself went- Unlimited bar tab, the toilets didn't run out of toilet paper, everyone on the dance floor, good food (mmmm.....smoked salmon and avocado, mini-bruchettas, peking duck, sushi, sausage rolls, wantons in vinegar, satay skewers...mmmmmm). Sure the DJ was a little patchy, and who the hell does a set of House house house, 80s remix, THREE RnB followed by 1 ROCK? HEY?? HEY?? HEY??!!!??? *breathes* BUT!

all in all, it was a fantastic night. Ex-staff turned up in force (we're really tight, ex staff remain hella good friends and we all regularly visit our old latte-making grounds), I managed to wrangle free food off the boss including a free sample of the new menu, and best of all, we all got to catch up.

Sure, scary GM with death ray stare was seen shimmying in a floor length gown and feathers in her hair, frightening the living daylights in a 3m radius; but we got to see our founder drunk and "dancing" and our area manager was er, very happy. Very happy indeed.

anyway, IF I can find pics, you'll see all of us dressed to the nines, including Cath in her gorgeous Chanel and Erys in that Review dress I was eyeing except I decided that a) it was too pricy and b) you need a really good bod to carry it off and Nana in herstraight out of anime character outfit. She looked so good if she did that sideways-S shape thing with her body and the peace sign, she'd be IT. Mike with her 50s look from Cactus Jam, Jules in her really hot mini-cheongsam, Cynthia and Paola in Latina hotness...There were so many gorgeous dresses out there...one of our Swedish girls came dressed in typical European style...a white minidress. oooohhhhhhh. Anyway....we'll see what I can find. Maybe I should post that up with a fashion journal look.

Listening to: Manic Star

2006-01-23T22:29:00.000+11:00

They somehow managed to get buah keluak in Perth!!!!!

Must find way of getting it here, and not in bloody Rawon soup packets either. GRRRRRR. Cyanide? What cyanide? It's not like Apricots, peaches, apples and Tapioca don't kill either. Ha. Now you know. That bubble tea phase? yeah....it was all an evil conspiracy to kill us all. *psychotic evil look*

I want ayam buak keluak. Maybe I should ring the Hyatt. You think they'll tell me?

heatstroke haiku

2006-01-22T11:48:00.000+11:00

here I am bristling
reposing in workplaces
the only option

Pros of having a doc friend you can just ring up distraught:

Immediate and free consultation ON THE PHONE

Cons of having a doc friend you can just ring up distraught:

Them laughing at you when you think you have appendicitis when you're most probably just ovulating.

WHAT? my family medical history has almost anything and everything from hernias to cancers, scoliosis to sclerosis, pigmentation to er, receeding hairlines? EVERYTHING BLOODY THING. you name it, we most probably have it. So don't laugh ok.

Listening to: Conjure One - Tears From The Moon (Tiesto remix)

randomisation.

2006-01-19T21:26:00.000+11:00

I have an attack of the rambles.

victoria's secret models

make you want to become a model: until you realise you'd have to be THAT tall, with legs THAT long and also become THAT skinny. (I reckon one or two of them were too skinny actually- but most of them were so gorgeous I think if I were a straight guy I'd implode)

and erm, it wasn't our imaginations. Apparently the "sort-of-but-not-really" Asian model we saw was Juliana Imai- part Asian, part Brazillian. and I think I found at least some of our other "models of interest" 1stly one of the too skinny ones- Michelle Alves. When you're named as "skinny" amongst a whole other list of VS models as skinny on the Who2Who site, you know you're too darned skinny.

and what the hell. I can't believe Klum has only given birth a few months ago...arghhhh!!!!

One redeeming thing about watching the entire show even though I'm almost about to pack my bags and flee to a fat farm, is that every "asian supermodel" ugly or not who's made it big really really really chinky eyes.

Yay for chinky eyes! Even Irina Panteva, the revulsion of every Singaporean and the toast of the Western world. "Dinner plate face" my dad called it - he's very imaginative that way. His other names include "Mooncakes" "Craters" "Flat Biscuits" (translated) and "Chinese Steamed Buns" (translated). He's very PC isn't he?

btw, in my search on Asian supermodels, Anna Watanabe came up and yes, she is Ken's daughter! Also came up with Charlotte Casiraghi (princess, not model) and Elvis' granddaughter- Riley (model and arguably a princess). Very nice lips both of them. and everyone knows I have a thing for ~~Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Aishwarya Rai, the entire Casiraghi clan Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie~~ nice lips.

things to do before I leave

well. We wanted to have a knock-back back day, where we'd make fun of ourselves and customers...whenever they ordered anything...we'd just say "AND DEN???" until they got the joke, or walked away in a huff. (dude! don't tell me you don't get it)

Then there was the one where we wanted to repeat customer's garbled orders back to us.

"So that was a Sucker, a Doom, a Babushka and a Christmas Tree with Warflays and Shuffles?"

goodbye letter

like the nasty lil' heifer you always knew I was, I now take my leave into the even more cow-ish world of advertising! yeah. I've tried to tell each and every one of you personally, but thought I should tell people who aren't in Melbourne atm that no, I won't be there to yell at you to "take drinks out faster!" "wipe the tables" or "cover that damn banana or I'll make you eat it with the fruit flies on it" when you come back. aren't you all GLAD? ding dong the witch is...gone? I'll still be lurking around Melbourne snorting at bubbly lattes and posing with my wanker soy chai so don't you worry, you haven't seen the last of me yet. and if you really want your weekly witchy dose of sarcasm and dry dry wit, (because you know, I'm so good at that sort of thing), just head on over to the phonelist (you know, the one YOU should be looking at when trying to find replacements- not making managers do your dirty work for you) next to the phone in shop. And if I don't pick up the phone, you know it's you. not me. ;) heh heh heh

words

2006-01-14T23:47:00.000+11:00

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive
-jason mraz

You know your brain is chilling out somewhere in the backseat when you rely on fluffy pop songs to encapsulate your life. (and is so small you can't really see it in the rearview mirror)

so.

I just realised that after my initial culture shock of aussie-isms those many years ago (see you later? But I'm never going to see you again!) I'm now going through cultural retraining with Singaporeans.

Just like how "see you later" used to piss the shit out of me when I first arrived, Singaporean usage of everyday English words drives me absolutely bananas- my pet hate being "Correct" (occasionally pronounced "corright")

Technically, the word correct in Singaporean usage makes perfect sense. It means that it is not a fallacy. Zero faults.

So when you make some random remark when you bump into them in the streets and say "hey weren't you in my class in year 1902?" instead of saying somethings friendly, they'll say something like

"Correct. You're XYZ's friend right???"

or when you're having a perfectly benign conversation, and then someone brings up say...some home truth like the earth is round. or Say...you were discussing U2's upcoming concert and said "Rumour has it Bono is not going to wear his sunnies" or something like that, they'd say "Yah, correct! and then blah blah blah"

ARGHHH. FRUSTRATION!!!!!

I don't care if I'm correct or not about the rumour, and if I'm telling people the earth is almost certainly round, I don't need some schoolmarm to jump in and say "Yah, correct" not to mention they then hijack the conversation after making "correct" statements. I feel so patronised!

I mean, they were SO MANY OTHER THINGS to say. if they'd cut out the dammable "yah correct" I'd be so much more willing for them to open their mouths without a baseball bat in my hand. I mean imagine...

"rumour has it Bono blah blah"

"yeah! I heard that too! blah blah blah"

At this stage, I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS what you change the subject to. The price of eggs even! It's so much less confronting!

ok. how about

"rumour has it Bono blah blah blah"

"hmmm, but then I heard...."

The underlying problem seems to be that any statement I make is turned into a validating one. Everything I say has to be sanctioned.

"The tram inspectors sometimes dress in plainclothes"

"Yeah correct!"

I DON'T NEED YOUR VALIDATION!!!! in fact I feel patronised!!!!

and it's such a reflection of the culture. everything sanctioned, the herd mentality, the usage bearing a strong resemblance to a classroom in a country where academic grades reign supreme.

In fact, I've noticed it's a more "guy word" to use. Not many girls seem to use it, and there it is...reflection of a chauvanistic society on top of it all.

I once read a research article about chauvanistic values in Asian countries..and how it differs from traditional western chauvanism per se, and how it differs yet again from Mediterranian cultures and Middle eastern ones, and religious ones are different yet again.

What struck me was the country by country breakdown.

In the survey, Singapore was the ONLY COUNTRY in Asia where the men expect the women not only to cook and clean, but to also hold down a full time job.

we are reflection of our times, our cultures. and sometimes, the usage of the word "correct" just plain freaks me out, because it means so much more.

Listening to: 80s pop shmaltz

blatant attack against self-help books

2006-01-06T21:30:00.000+11:00

here's a fantastic way of pushing your boyfriend into cheating-
turn yourself into a paranoid bitch on top of everything else!

oh yes. The 100% absolutely predictable things men do when they cheat.

I was happily minding my own business (walking to the cookery section) when the pop art cover caught my eye. Lo behold! It was in the Top 10 Self Help Bestseller List! I'll admit to having a huge bias against self help* although the occassional one will get through my defences and I'll actually sit down and read it**, and the very occasional one I will actually like***.

Anyway.

I was sucked in by the cover, until I read the blurb. and then I read some of the telltale signs as listed in the contents page. "He shakes his head disapprovingly at other men who philander"

WHHHHAAAAAAATTTTTTTT???!!!!?????

and if he weren't cheating he'd nod his head approvingly? I mean, that's like saying only lactose intolerant people are against milk products in their diet when really, so are the vegans and the yuppie health freaks. (that wasn't meant to be serious)

I'm not saying ALL men are going to shake their heads disapprovingly when they hear of such a situation when in the proximity of their girlfriends, but I'd bet good money that a sizeable amount would (and the few stupid ones who didn't would soon realise that they were meant to).

I then got sucked into "Toxic People" because it genuinely interested me, which I liked (if I were Toxic to anyone, it'd be because I was an Emotional Refridgerator) and yes, one man's friend is another man's toxic person- one whole chapter spelling it out to people with an IQ of 5. until I spied the title "Rules II" (what! You mean it SPAWNED??!!??)

le sigh.

I moved on to my rightful shelf (cookery) before walking out...and spying....a numerology book. The meaning of my life in numbers! oooohhhhhh. the number 11 keeps recurring in my birthdate...so I'm an idealistic nut. oh the joys of sharing a birthday with Benito Mussollini and having 2 "golden couple" marriages fail when the vows were made on my birthday (Princess Diana and Prince Charles, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston) I guess it's all coming up roses in regards to my love life hey?

Listening to: Shirley Bassey- Where Do I Begin [Hotel Flores Vol. 3] (friggin fantastic- THANKS PAM!)

*something to do with the fact my father tried to force me to read How To Win Friends And Influence People at somewhere between the ages of 7 and 9, and my mum trying to get me to read 7 Habits of Highly Effective People when I was....11? It didn't help that the whole Chicken Soup for The Soul rage was all abuzz. and no my parents weren't being as delusional as you think they were, I was a freak of a child, and I'd read LOTR and Shakespeare by 9, and I was well into their encyclopedias by the time I was 11...I think I was so bored once I started reading the dictionary...but stopped at the letter A because some of those words were just plain...useless. If I had a child like me, I'd be frightened. My parents were cool about it and even went on to buy me things like 'The Unabridged Version of the Grimm Brothers Fairy Tales' (very traumatising, really should have a PG rating) and Bram Stroker's Dracula...and my dad even introduced me to the now infamous Holy Blood, Holy Grail by the time I was 9 or 10. It was astounding.

** my parents gave me The Rules at 14. I threw the book into the trash. They were appalled. So was I. [to be fair, I don't think they knew what was in it]

*** like Rich Dad Poor Dad, and Who Moved My Cheese?

baby got back

2006-01-02T22:46:00.000+11:00

someone finally managed to explain how rap boys keep their pants up. Talent. it takes talent. I mean, what if you have a big butt??? isn't it at an angle so that if you evened it out it really would just...quite literally "pool at your feet" to quote some dodgy Mills and Boon novel I was forced to read way back in Year 10?

The mind boggles.

happy new year

2006-01-01T12:39:00.000+11:00

Jeebus. HOW HOT CAN IT GET??!!!??? for most of yesterday it felt like I was in direct crossfire between an open oven door and a super strength hairdryer. SHRIVELLED LIKE A RAISIN!!!!

everyone turned up at work literally panting, feeling for all the world like dozy blowflies, falling in a heap the moment they reached the air conditioned coolness of work where our poor air conditioner was working overtime, battling against the elements that even our double glazed windows could not keep out. I half expected tumbleweed to go rolling past (at very high speeds due to the crazy winds) outside the deserted courtyard. (deserted, desert-ed...a haha! the heat has gotten to my brains!)

Apparently we hit 42.9 over here (that's 109.2 Farenheit for my US pals) MADNESS! It wouldn't be so bad if the winds weren't so strong, but as it was, we were buffeted about by northely winds direct from the red centre which honestly is NOT FUN.

I really don't know how those Alice people cope with it almost every day of the year (and coping with freezing cold nights on top of it). No wonder they dig underground burrows. I got burnt despite SPF 30 sunscreen, just standing at the tram stop waiting for a tram!!!!

After work was no better, the temperature wasn't even what you could call "balmy" - which insinuates humidity, and while warm, does not connote uncomfortable. This was 39 degrees at 8pm, 3 of us managers piled into the storeroom doing stocktake...worrying that our grand countdown was going to be held in some creepy storeroom that looked like a Windows 3.1 Screensaver. (the one with the walls)

I spent midnight watching harry potter pt2 (34 degrees) and at 3am it was still 32. ARGHHHHH.

That said, I had a great new year, finally choosing the new year without the view because a) it was closest to work b) I felt closest to them in terms of friendship since I see them the most often. [my other two options were alumbra, right on the waterfront with spectacular fireworks views and west melbourne (thanks pris!) for more great fireworks views]

I was really happy with the choice, given that I am now proud to say that I've watched all four Harry Potter movies! gosh I am so behind the times. But that whomping willow. Man it's an evil tree! Watching 3 movies consecutively makes you realise that the willow is a violent, violent tree. And that Buckbeak is not as scary as I imagined him to be...in fact he's a really grand creature! I always imagined him to be really quite scary. Incredible job the animators did, much better than Narnia if I say so myself, and each movie's production quality just got better, and better.

and Professor Lupin....ha. I love his musical tastes. I want! And yeah, once Hermione plucked her eyebrows and de-frizzed her hair, she looked really good! The wonders just a little grooming can do.

oh oh. I HAVE BEEF WITH THE PATRONUS CHARM! I never imagined the Patronus as something that could only be seen from the other end of the wand! And I was *so sure* that you didn't need to keep holding the wand while you let it run free!

I mean....okay. If you read the book, you'll see that during Harry's OWLS he managed to make his Patronus gallop across the room in a circle before disappearing, and that even Hermione's Patronus was half a Patronus when she had her 1st try. What I'd always imagined was that a wisp would come out at the edge of your wand, and gradually build into a mist that took the form of your Patronus hence enabling "half-Patronuses/Patroni" i.e. say the front half looks like a patronus and the remainder that's still coming from/attached and gradually detaching itself but is still in mist. HUH.

but I guess the producer must have thought that the best look was a giant concave wall springing from a wand so that it looks like a magic force field, which I suppose is the function of the Patronus. Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmmm.

Ah well, brilliant SFX, each better than the last, and excellent cinematography. So I'm most definitely not complaining.

*dopey grin*

****

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. First, there was the santa mailbox in city square, and now I find that even the air traffic controllers and Australia's version of NASA are in on this

http://www.airservices.gov.au/santa05/default.htm
http://www.cdscc.nasa.gov/Features/pg_santa2005.html

although I have to say he does get much better treatment in Canada where not only do planes STAY out of his flight path, he gets escorted by fighter jets! (poor reindeer, they must be deaf)

http://www.noradsanta.org/en/how_we_do_it.php

and for more HAHAHAs

The oldest noodles have been found! The Chinese invented it and then spread it along!

another year over

2005-12-31T11:18:00.000+11:00

last christmas

this christmas

and just like that, it's been another year. And boy, what a crazy year it's been. Emotionally, Physically, Mentally.

From the top of Europe in freezing tops of -16 degrees, to the hottest place on earth in December where the weather today is a forecasted 42.

It's a one way road that I've got to keep travelling down, hoping to become a better person at the end of it all.

Thank you to all of you who have been there, and to the people whom I haven't contacted, know that you're in my mind anyway. And thank you for having been there in spirit if not in person. I wouldn't have made it without you all.

luv,
me.

freefalling is such a rush

2005-12-30T11:14:00.000+11:00

like most eventful days, this one had an eventful start.

At quite literally the crack of dawn, I woke up to the infernal sound of birds tweeting and my alarm clock playing something I now don't remember but was nonetheless annoying. As I sat at the local Baker's Delight waiting for my friends, I chomped on several bread rolls and pondered on whether I could possibly wake up to try Brown's one day.

Then they arrived. 3 crazy Columbians (2 of whom were hung over and had only slept 4 hours) and me, packed into a jalopy that would take us to our date with destiny. Needless to say, like all epic adventures, our jalopy ran into trouble by 8am.

yes, that is green shit coming out. It's not as scary as it seems....(that's right, it's not radioactive slime) it's just the coolant. Our car had overheated...it seems out radiator cap seal was broken.

Nonetheless, we made it to Euroa in one piece, and on time too!

Once there, I spied the Cessna plane that would take us up to over 10 000ft- a single propeller plane I'd once taken a ride in...and that last ride was over the Grand Canyon in extreme tubulence. So bad that even our pilot threw up at the end of it all.

Thankfully, it was Euroa, where the weather is almost always excellent and the plane ride was really uneventful. when they flung open the door, cool air blasted us immediately and I was instructed to swing my legs over the edge of the plane as we'd be taught on ground, and as "WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE" passed through my mind while staring at what looked like minature models of real buildings complete with stick trees loomed 10 000ft below, I was unceremoniously flung out the plane.

Freefalling at a ridiculous rate, we did a somersault where I saw the back of the plane fall away, and it felt like swimming, only lighter. a few seconds of falling strrrraight down later, we were stabilised (as much as stabilised when falling at terminal velocity can be) and a few seconds after that the parachute was pulled and we were gliding towards the drop zone.

Scott decided I was one of the "cool calm and collected cool cats" and actually let me work the parachute for one or two 360 turns (he didn't let go of course) while I watched cars still look like little toy ones drive by.

As we touched down, I realised that I'd skydived more than 6000ft in less than a minute....and that I'd broken 2 of my nails from the sheer velocity of zooming towards earth at up to 220kmph. you gotta love the rush.

After all 4 of us completed our jumps, we collected DVDs that my friends had ordered (watching your cheeks flap is really quite amusing) and hopped into our bung car looking for a service station. We fixed the seal cap, drove to Shepparton, and realised that the car was still overheating.

We stopped for lunch, hoping that the car would cool down, but after about 15km, we had to stop by the roadside in 36 degree heat to let the car cool down. As Jose unscrewed the cap, the water literally geysered out, and all of us ran for cover and let the car rest for another half an hour.

It didn't help. a few minutes and 3km later, we drew to a stop at RACV Nagambie where we asked for help. Apparently the car would take 3 days to fix, not including new years and we were stranded in Nagambie while RACV searched for a car in the vicinity for us.

While waiting for an answer, we sat at the local supermarket, reading old fashioned country ads on the community noticeboard including this one

and watch the sun set in the little town of Nagambie

4 hours later, they found one in a town 20km away and rang a taxi from that town to drive up AND down again, when we drove into a garage. It was about 9pm.

A few Juan Pablo Montoya jokes later, we were in another jalopy. But this one had AIR!

Yessss.........all we needed after a swelteringly hot day. AIR CONDITIONING.

There was no highway radio, no Triple J, but as sunset faded to dusk, and dusk into twilight, and twilight finally into darkness, we were still chattering on and our car was still going strong.

I arrived home at 11.30pm, hot, sticky, sweaty but happy. Not bad considering I'd thrown myself out of a perfectly good plane only 12 hours before.

Wishing: it wasn't going to be so hot tomorrow (42!!!)

yeah. I'm still alive. woe is the world.

2005-12-29T22:38:00.000+11:00

I'll fotolog soon but in the meantime, page one of ninety-nine.

(click to enlarge)

reading: Howl's Moving Castle

and I'm jumping, from a jet plane...don't know when I'll be back again

2005-12-28T19:18:00.000+11:00

I'm jumping out of a plane tomorrow and if the parachute don't work, well then, Merry X'mas to you all and a happy new year.

and if you want to come to my funeral, please tell me mum not to play overwrought classics like Amazing Grace and Swing Low Sweet Chariot, and tell me dad not to go the other damn way and play the Baby Elephant Dance. and if they must, I want it gospel style. GOSPEL STYLE.

NO NO NO NO NO. I don't want a Christian OR Buddhist or even Taoist funeral. (and no, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu and Sikh are out of the question)

MULTIDENOMINATIONAL.

if some poor bereaving sod wants to read a psalm/something out of the bible/torah/quaran/ancient holy texts of any language then they can go right ahead. but no singular denomination for me please. It really isn't in line with my agnosticism. If someone wants to step up and tell the world that aliens are the missing link and that really, no one should be crying because soon, I'll be pushing up daisies and other assorted weeds, and it's nature's way of recycling things, then DON'T STOP HIM.

actually, I'd find it pretty funny. (same goes if a certain colleague from internship decides to step up and tell the world that THERE IS NO GOD and that honestly truly, our sad little existence on this earth is to procreate and end up as fertiliser, then LET HIM and if you can get Jack Black/Jerry Sienfeld/the cast of Whose Line Is It Anyway? to emcee and make some really witty jokes or even an entire theatre sports section about death even if it's at my expense, then go right ahead)

My funeral shall be a riot. and yeah, all races creeds and religions are welcome.

P/S please, NO professional wailers, NO chinese orchestra (not even the teochew style you hear me?) NO church organs, nada. just my winamp list if you must (use the playlist labelled party2) and you can use all my organs for medical research/saving poor crippled kids, and oh. cremation please. and then toss my ashes into the wind. Wanderlust doesn't stop just because my body has.

P/S/S and please cremate my father with a pair of earplugs because it's his private final wish to me. He hates sanskrit chanting so.

that green rubber tutu kinda grows on me (and secretly, I still have a crush on atreyu)

2005-12-28T11:25:00.000+11:00

so. I watched a remake of one of my few childhood celluloid movies. i.e. The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe.

and while I really loved it, WHAT IS IT WITH MIDGET INDIAN ACTORS?????

1st LOTR, then Willy Wonka, now this?

other than that, the white witch was suitably scary (although I really prefer the TV version because she was so much colder....not passionate and fiery- although it could've been because I was 6 when I saw that, and her palace was blue themed (more icy than eerie) and glided round in a sleigh even within the palace) mmmmmm turkish delight. I ate turkish delight in Turkey long before I read the books so I don't have a strange affliction of turkish-delight-phobia that a lot of other people seem to have. (although I have heard heaps of people wanting turkish delight because of the movie)

nonetheless, if there are any girls my sister's age reading this, I recommend this one for the perve factor as opposed to Harry Potter.

Cedric Diggory? I mean look at THIS.

sure he scrubs up....OH KAY

but if that's the best that dear old Potter can offer when everyone knows that there are many more good-looking guys resideing in ye olde united kingdoms (what? Cho Chang had a distinctively Scottish accent, don't tell me you couldn't hear it) then dammit, on perve factor alone Narnia should win. (on an aside note, where the hell do they get all these kids who can really really act?)

other than that...the lion really rocked, I wonder if they employed FF animators to do that old individual hair strands trick. hmmmm. centaurs were cooler than I thought they'd be, and gosh, they had gryphons! a lot smaller than I'd imagined but pretty cool anyway. hmmm gryphons.

ok. 1st midnight mass at St Pats, then Narnia. I reckon I'm getting more Christian allegory than I bargained for.

Faith is a many spledoured thing.

Listening to: Lil Jon and the Ying Yang Twins - A Lil Low Now

p/s mummy? why are white tigers evil? why are leopards good? But I like white tigers. and the lion! Daddy, I want white tigers and Aslan for Christmas.

coz I'm pimpin

2005-12-20T21:26:00.000+11:00

Sorry,

I had a bad day and couldn't be bothered looking for my good angle before I took the photo.

You know, the angle where my hair is radiantly bouffant so I have an Angelina-esque blow wave, my lips look plush, the mysterious non-herpes on my skin (they're not on my lips dahhhling, they can't be!) are but charming freckles, and my contact lenses make me glow, baby, glow.

ahhh you know what Asian Blondes are like, we're all the same. Give us some black eyeliner and an unsteady hand, and we look shit hot. yeah man. Even Zhang Ziyi could look hot if she actually followed those rules! That girl really needs some plastic surgery. Then she can look as good as I do!

one day, when all this is done, I'm going to party till I don't remember my name. Actually, I'm not too sure if I remember it right now.

tra lala....what was I saying again?

oh. whatever, btw reddirtgirl has been doing a fotolog of Nicole Richie carrying things. She's so strong that Nicole. Sometimes she even manages a Starbucks Venti AND a mobile. I was so impressed. Until I saw the skinny Olsen.

Look at the size of that folder AND a Starbucks Venti! I almost thought she was clinging on to it for support for a moment. young kids nowadays. Maybe I should schedule in a liposuction. Everyone's talking about Paris and Nicole and Mary Kate and Lindsay and Jessica and their little skinny bodies.

Oh it's so hard being gorgeous.

asian parents

2005-12-17T01:56:00.000+11:00

Whenever the Asians want to get a point about their parents across to other Asians, we say "Asian Parents" and the other parties normally nod knowingly.

They're just one of a kind.

Like Russell Peters' skit about his dad watching the mardi gras on TV and seeing some gay indian guys "DO YOU KNOW THEM??!!!???"

and Russell Peters just looking at him like he's gone daft and saying, "NO, why the hell should I?"

"because there are a lot of gays in the entertainment industry and YOU are IN the entertainment industry"

well, my parents just left after a week and in their aftermath I have

4 clothes hangers (because we won't use it and you need it and we brought it specially for you)
about 5kg of mangoes and 3 tangerines so huge they're the size of my size 9 feet ( too enamoured with Aussie produce)
an old shower curtain (you're moving! besides, it can be used as a table cloth! Look, it's so neutral the colour somemore)
lots of bank issues
lots of stuff solved

AND

lots of issues in general

don't get me wrong. I like my parents. But asian parents are possibly the only ones to travel over 14000 miles to hand you clothes hangers, 2 pairs of cotton boxers that once belonged to dad but are too small, one pair of men's running shorts complete with ball support, and an old shower curtain that smells like nana's closet.

Graduation presents also included a little God Loves You Booklet (from Mum's secretary, hellbent on converting me since I hit puberty). God loves me yes I know. For the booklet tells me so!

they've been startlingly nice this trip I have to say, and I have to sleep now...will wake up at crack of dawn to call them

2005-12-13T01:35:00.000+11:00

these "soothing tracks of peace and tranquility" are not working.

Serenity is not reaching me through my murky depths of misery through the thick ropes of stress.

annoyance levels are so high, I'm almost angry.

I'm tired, stressed, and cranky.

as you can see, I'm not even trying to make this crankily, rantily, sarcastically funny.
and I'll probably laugh in the morning.

but in the meantime...

ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LISTENING TO: Bach- Christmas Oratorio: Sinfonata

2005-12-06T15:21:00.000+11:00

I am on a warpath. Avoid me if you can.

I am also too busy to offer more than single sentence replies to ANY email at the moment.

2005-12-04T18:43:00.000+11:00

this is just a list of shit I have to do...

find out how to get a letter from DIMIA asking for Assurance of Support
booking the HIV test and seeing if i really need a new health check (goodbye 250 bucks)
paying my water bills
booking time with eric to see his place, and house hunting in general
pay my health insurance
arrange my grad ceremony photos
arrange itinerary for parents
ring agents to threaten to kill them if they give me more false info.....and make sure they haven't vanished

so technically my day HAS to start at 8.30 tomm morning or I'm screwed.

and so I don't forget, Tuesday afternoon is reserved for househunting which is why I swapped shifts. I tend to forget these things.

escape from x'mas!

2005-12-01T23:09:00.000+11:00

I ran away from the work x'mas party and went grocery shopping instead. I didn't know anyone and I wasn't in the mood to walk up to people and introduce myself. However, I craftily made sure I was conspicuous so no one can accuse me of a no-show.

I even took some time out to soak in live covers of big band tunes like "come fly with me" and "beyond the sea". AND grab one of those unidentified fried objects being passed around on platters by formally dressed waiters. (not to mention I had a cowboy hat perched on my head and said hi to everyone in my section of the company)

I am so good at this shit.

Does it matter that I piked half an hour in... after spending almost all of it on the phone to gerri? I think not. In fact, I even managed to secure a Cabcharge (which I didn't use because I'm a nice decent honest law-abiding sort-of-citizen of Singapore, the land where they hang people)

***

It's time for a new haircut...I graduate in 2 weeks and I can't resemble Barkly from Sesame Street. Especially when my sister is into the bad habit of posting my grad photos on HER friendster account and somehow managing to choose the one in which I bear a striking resemblance to a pig.

Friends have recommended Rokk Ebony. I will consider it most carefully given that I will be broke this month. (and it's only the 1st!) other options- Lure on Smith St, Xiang QV

***

looking at eric's place next week...if not, I NEED A HOUSEMATE!!!!! been looking at shared accomodation, but it's tough when they're all available immediately or in 2 weeks and you really want something for mid-late January.

***

I need a day off. I will be getting some when my parents come. But I don't consider those days off. I might need a day off from those days off. I need it to sort housing out, and pack. and shit like that. You know. Life.

I started the day with a french beret guy swinging from a sand eiffel

2005-11-29T02:37:00.000+11:00

i was supposed to do all these important things online last night....check my office email (done), pay my rent (done), check my graduation stuff (done), email mum (done), and I can't remember WHAT ELSE!!! that's the bad part.

if someone remembers, please tell me. My brain is on holiday.

****

I woke up this morning and found a man in a french beret and black and white striped shirt playing an accordion swinging from a sandcastle in the shape of the eiffel tower.

then at 6.30 the ad execs started beating a path to my door.

the fun didn't stop...I had such a quiet morning. I even had a catnap on top of one of those mortuary freezers.

also filled with such love happiness and inner peace. *cough*

imploding at such force

***

dinner was good though. I almost forgot I'd been having a shitty day.

arghhhhh some people

2005-11-24T23:27:00.000+11:00

Am I being discriminatory? Yes I am.

you know, the problem with stupid people is that there's absolutely NO USE trying to talk sense into them, or to take a more egalitarian view, to try get them to even SEE where you're coming from. and since they can't SEE where you're coming from let alone conceptualise it, they just....stop at point B when you're talking from point C. They just can't go past a certain point, so their logic becomes circular or pedantic.

It's like how a 2D drawing could never conceptualise 3D really, and how we in 3D could never really concieve of a fourth dimension...really.

So anyway, I'm interning at a company and everyone knows interns are at the absolute pond scum level of the pecking order. But well, sometimes, I swear, I'm smarter than the some people higher up (and since I'm not persecuting ANYONE by saying this since every bloody person in the 500-strong office is higher up than I am) . Where this person got by years of experience, I certainly don't begrudge them. It's certainly not easy to survive in this cutthroat industry and what they doesn't have in IQ I'm sure they more than make up for in many many other ways. I'm not even 100% positive if I myself can survive. It takes a certain type of person.

BUT today, that person had the most....silly conversation with me.

"So. Where are you originally from again?"

"Singapore"

"Oh. I always thought you came from Hong Kong"

I laughed. "Oh no, I can't speak a word of Cantonese!"

"What language do you speak then?"

"English"

"At home? Like your parents"

"English"

"Yeah right, so why do you have an accent?"

Geek cuts in (he's a real geek, but he's honestly the coolest person in there- not to say the rest of them aren't cool- they are- he's just the coolest) "yeah. Singaporeans all sound American"

"Singapore's official language is English. All our legal documents are in English"

Person looks bewildered and shocked for a moment.

"but why do you have an accent?"

"Yeah. it's a Singaporean accent"

"That's BULLSHIT! There's no such thing as a Singaporean accent"

"Yes there is...." I'm half amused "...Americans have an American accent, Canadians have a Canadian one, South Africans have a South African one, Singaporeans have a Singaporean one"

Person sits there, and you can literally see the cogs in person's brain working furiously. It's like the thought of Americans having an accent has never occured. I almost wanted to add and Aussies have an Aussie accent too- but didn't want to throw person off.

Person finally pronounces- "no! but you have an accent! there's no such thing as a Singaporean accent!"

I step out of the taxi, and try to cut some slack "if it makes you feel any better, I can speak Mandarin really badly"

Geek has given up. I give up too.

NB: I honestly don't think this person meant any harm. Person definitely wasn't being racist and mean. Also believe person isn't 100% Anglo and I've heard quite a few close friends of person's going "that's such a wog thing to say/do" so I'm doubly sure it wasn't meant in that way. Also a very forthright person.

I need to be let out more often

2005-11-21T00:32:00.000+11:00

apparently I need to be let out more often. Because I seem to be getting natural highs on simply not being at work. I'm serious.

and no, it's not the chocolate/coffee talking.

I was let loose on Friday for an old-school staff reunion (only 3 of us still work there) and we finally settled into a TAB. rofl. so there we were, 6 crazy people in a TAB full of middle-aged pokies addicts, really getting stuck into our beers.

Afterward, I met someone else from work at the Gin Palace, and her boyfriend introduced us to his friends, who are all just as crazy.

I laughed till my stomach hurt. It really isn't everyday you get a crazy Columbians tell you that people are constantly asking them for drugs just because they're Columbian. I guess maybe if they travel in groups of 2 or more they actually look like an organised crime outfit. *poker faced look*

Today, we all went up to knifepoint highpoint for a little work outing, and I promptly got high in the car, and started giggling at everything and anything. my friends were just looking at me and going "Shut the bitch up"

before resorting to shut-kids-up tactics like

"you wanna waffle?"
"why?"
"because if your mouth is full maybe you'll stop giggling and making no sense"

"look over there!"
"what??? what????"
"nah, was trying to distract you"

I really wasn't make any sense come to think of it, although it all seemed very funny at the time. Like a restaurant named "chicken palace". I had the most ludicrous image of chickens literally ruling the roost....little courtier chickens and chickens on thrones....chicken knight errants against The Jelly Factory.

There was a childhood memeory I was basing it on, I can still remember a few ducklings swimming in a fountain over in New York, and a poor doorman having to walk the ducks to and from their swim, along red carpet of one of the classiest hotels in New York. I always found it so grotesque that I probably will remember it for the rest of my life.

Anyway, we reached highpoint, and BOUNDED out of the car, sprinted into the mall screaming at the top of our lungs, and running like there really was a person coming after us with a knife and an intent to stab. the people inside could hear us coming from a mile away.

all without the help of any drugs legal or illegal. We're just nuts. Stir crazy at the thought of AN OUTING.

we are so deprived. and yes, I need to be let out into the excercise yard a little more. kampung chicken tastes better.

*****

I want someone fired. Really. I mean, it's not just the fact that his face looks like the entire pubic region. He also talks non-stop to the point where he frightens customers.

no, I am not being mean. We call him pube-face behind his back because he has facial hair that looks...WRONG. not to mention the hair on his head sits just so.

He literally grabs customers hands, and he traumatised all of us by kissing us.

I DON'T KNOW THE BUGGER.

YOU DO NOT KISS PEOPLE YOU DON'T KNOW. DIDN'T YOUR MUM TEACH YOU ABOUT COOTIES?????

well, yeah, he's got boy germs. I don't know him. I'm not letting his boy germs anywhere near my girl germs.

Listening to: Andy's newest Lemon Jelly. (not made with chickens from the chicken palace)

the singapore blogosphere is a zombie lynch mob

2005-11-15T23:15:00.000+11:00

EDIT: oh check it out! Yahoo news now gives the option of searching blogs for news too!

EDIT2: oh great. NOW they find the vaccine. if you haven't the faintest what I'm talking about, refer to Octber posts.

really. they are.

something about the singapore blogosphere sometimes reminds me of the singapore climate, the singapore mentality, in general.

My boss once told me that back in Israel, killings and murders and suicides would always increase at the start of the hot season, and sometimes I wonder if the whole of Singapore is just....a sauna you can't get out of.

Resulting in cranky cranky people who sit round nitpicking, being judgemental, and making value judgements that really aren't any of their damn business.

offkilter once mentioned to me "DO THEY EVEN REALISE WHAT THE SG BLOGOSPHERE IS LIKE?" and she's right, given half a chance, these people will rip you to shreds just because you don't conform to their idea of whatever it is their idea is.

and chalyz once commented what a huge phenomenon blogging in Singapore is, to such an extent that she's uncomfortable with reading Singaporean blogs because they're....more PR than most.

if they can't find fault in one way, they'll just pick on some tiny thing that seems wrong and gnaw from there. and then people jump on the bandwagon. and then people start wanting attention, and so they start making even more inflamotary remarks.

even on my predominantly US-readership old blog, the only ones who started blog wars on my blog, the ones who left snide comments, they were all the singaporeans.

I don't know. Sometimes, I really miss Singapore, and sometimes, I don't even understand it. The more people talk to me, the more they realise how far apart from Singapore I am...how I don't even understand half the cultural contexts, subtexts. and sometimes, even talking to other people, I realise how Asian I am in some ways, and how un-Asian I am in so many others.

What the hell is the big fucking deal? honestly.

I told you I look like I'm 16

2005-11-13T23:59:00.000+11:00

baaaaah.

was putting through a transaction today, and I was happily chatting to this old couple...and I mean old. not old enough for me to expect them to be home with slippers and a cat, but old enough that I'd call them nuovo-riche retirees...the type you'd expect to live in an open-plan house and spend their weekends sailing, or in their case, cycling.

and after the transaction had gone through, the wife walked away to find a table, and the guy stayed behind, made sure his wife was well out of earshot, and leaned in

"you get full marks for service...and cuteness"'

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

I pretended I didn't understand in true Asian "I no speak Engrish" style, and said

"aww. thank you!"

and prayed he would shove off given a growing queue behind His Smarminess.

I. will. never. wear my red plaid skirt and fuck-me boots with this hairstyle. EVER.

me and my short hair

2005-11-12T22:07:00.000+11:00

ok, embarrassed as I am about my photos beside the beauteous Dawn Yang's visage, I'll play fair, especially to the people I only communicate with via my blog.

Miss you guys. love you guys. will post better ones once I ring and beg pris to fix my goddamn hair so I don't look like a goddamn 16 year old MGS schoolgirl complete with kinky glasses.

in fact, I shall email pris right now.

I shall do my best gay-man-in-woman's-body-with-15-year-old-face....

PRIS? ORH MAH GAAWWWDDDDD, LIKE, YOU WOULDN'T BEH-LEEEEEVVVVEEEEEE

I SO, LOOK LIKE, A 15 YEAR OLD. I mean, Lolita is like, so hot right now, but this is like, CRRAAAAAAAAZY!

I need more ooompph! OOMPH! Pris! OOMPH!

so can you do something dahhhhhling????

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

Pris, you know I'm joking. I'll ring you up right now and speak to you in normal tones. Promise.

absolutely faaaahbulous dahling.

still addicted to Roksopp with additional listening on the side to Dishwalla's Angels and Devils, courtesy of the beautiful Loon. Thanks again dude.

disturbed

2005-11-11T12:28:00.000+11:00

I just realised I have 2 months to find a housemate. eek.

I NEED A HOUSEMATE.

2005-11-07T20:26:00.000+11:00

I
h a v e
short
h a i r
n o w
(I look like a 14 year old)

my
phone
is
sleeping.
do not disturb.
It's even hiding from me.

FOUND!

and.

I baked a kick-ass cheesecake that's now sitting at work.

rave reviews are coming in thick and fast. heh heh heh.

ROYKSOPP'S THE UNDERSTANDING is still permeating my ears...possibly one of the best things I've heard in a long time.

for a certain friend

2005-11-06T23:14:00.000+11:00

yeah so I don't update as often as I used to. I know. 2 jobs and 7 day weeks tend to do that.

The weather's far too hot. I feel feverish even when I'm not sick...or am I? I get headaches...and I've been having fucked up dreams.

other than that, well, I guess the highlight of my day has been Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

2nd only to Johnny Depp. something about boys named Johnny.

actually, let's talk about boys.

see, it's the intense look I like. The dark hair, tanned/dark/dusky skin, the light eyes that I like. the piercing stare. And I like them lean.

I even think girls like that are hot. Jennifer Conolley, Angelina Jolie, Aishwarya Rai, Dita Von Teese. well, ok. Dita isn't that tan.

everyone says I like them skinny but it's not true (see above), and my friend claims the only reason why the guys have such intense stares is because they're really hungry and when they see any human being all they can think about is eating them.

WHATEVER.

well, that's one genre down. People don't understand that I don't really have "types" I like guys of all colour, shape and heights. I just have a predisposition for lean tan ones.

which brings me to cat eyes.

you know, like Tyson Beckford. perhaps his body is a little too buff, but his face. hmmmmm.

and pelvic bones. (see above, and refer to calvin klien models)

and bee-stung lips

and high cheekbones

and everyone knows about my 3 minute crushes that last for the duration of a song that any random guy who can sing happens to be singing.

oh and of utmost importance- HAIR. I don't care what hairstyle you wear, so long as it suits.

So there you have it. my fetishes in one blog post.

oh. and arm veins. No bodybuilders thanks- just nice.

Like this. random guy's arm gotten off the internet. Hope whoever he is doesn't mind.

as my boss once said

"guys actually don't mind being objectified...unlike girls."

and I'm hoping it holds true in this case.

listening to: Royksopp- The Understanding (Deluxe Edition)

Queen of Girl Power

2005-11-01T20:04:00.000+11:00

even google is celebrating. GO MAKYBE!

For those who don't know, she's won a historic 3rd Melbourne Cup, is the first mare to do this all while carrying the world record for weight handicap for a mare.

and she's won the Cox Plate this year so you can't say she's shit.

and.

she's also got the Australian Cup and the Sydney Cup. making her the only mare to ever win a Melb and Syd Cup Double.

and.

a world record on the 2000m grass track.

woot.

all you need for girl power. not to mention she's fiesty and known to bite ears.

oh. and she's pretty too.

myst's bodyparts in real life may be larger than they seem

2005-10-31T09:08:00.000+11:00

I was at work doing my usual work thing I do, when the subject of weight came up...and I told everyone I was obese and no one believed me. Even the dietician's daughter.

So I finally spilt what my weight was, and she freaked out.

"You're THAT HEAVY!!!???? YOU CAN'T BE THAT HEAVY....NOOOOO"

then she named a weight at least 12kgs lighter.

No one ever believes my weight till I step on a scale in their presence.

Then Gerri piped up, "everything she says is like a myth. It's true, but you never believe it until you see it- like her size 9 feet" (remember I'm 5"2)

and everyone freaks out.

yeah. so I'm short and I have size 9 feet. I like to believe that it's that large to help distribute weight better, kind of like the sneaker option as opposed to stilettos. and I have tiny ankles to go with these giant feet.

so I tell them something else.

"you see my boobs? they don't look that big right, but my bra size is a size 14"

and everyone flips out even more. "NO FUCKING WAY. you're so little. you're like a size 8 or 10!"

it's so sad, I have big ribs. what can I do? Finding tops is such a pain in the ass, but that's mainly to do with my shoulders, which are the widest part of me. All the better to hold my huge ponderous head with.

"and your cup size?" someone dares to ask.

about 1 size larger than they look.

****

someone must have put an enchantment spell on me or something so that I look small, when in reality I'm really an obese garden gnome who looks like an evil hospital matron named Helga.

Book of Gnomes
Originally uploaded by Di4ne.

2005-10-28T20:38:00.000+10:00

"what we are we choose to be" or "I can't help who I am. I am the way I am"

Nature or Nurture? Both and if so how much?

Feeling: murderous.
Listening to: The Cure- that alleycat song.
working on: work
should be:watching movies.

*****

from LJ sg_makan

CHENDOL: The History Of Chendol - A Special Report

During 1900, the Indonesians started selling Chendol along Geylang. Chendol was the invention of Indonesians. It was formally a staple for Malays. However, the Indonesian hawkers were mobile hawkers, and chendol did not take off as a popular dessert then.

When the Indian Muslims started selling chendol, their soft and sily chendols became more popular then the Indonesians, and Singaporeans started to enjoy Chendol more often.

Chendol of the olden times were kept in a transparent glass bottle and without any cover. In the centre of the glass bottle were blocks of ice. A glass of chendol costs only a few cents back then. One of the earliest chendol seller Mr Maideen bin Ahman peddled his cart to sell Chendol during 1910. As he always came to the malay kampungs, he married a Muslim Indian girl in the kampung. In 1951, Maideen moved his stall into the Geylang Serai Malay Market, and set up a stall called Geylang Serai Chendol. In 1964, the 2nd Generation took over his chendol stall. Yunos worked hard for 30 years, and remain true to tradition - pure chendol without any extra ingredients. In 1995, Yunos set up his own ice factory in Singapore, and provided ice for hawkers in Singapore. In 2005, Geylang Serai Chendol has now been in the hands of the 3rd generation.

Geylang Serai Chendol - 169 Geylang Serai Market & Food Centre

During the early 1900s, the Hainanese were the servants and housekeepers to rich Nonya and Baba families. After the Japanese War, the Hainanese began selling food along the roads of Singapore. Many sold their food beside the early Geylang Cinem and Pasar Malam, and named their own chendol the Nonya Chendol.

During the 1960s, Singapore experienced water rationing. Many hawkers took this oppourtunity and sold Iced Nonya Chendol to Singaporeans due to the hot weather. During those times, the Malays, Indians and Chinese enjoyed a bowl of cold chendol. In the 1960s, the chendols from Geylang and Tekka were the most famous chendol. Even though the Indian chendol were cheaper, the Hainanese's Nonya chendol was more delicious, hence more popular. This is because the Nonya chendol not only had jade green chendol, but also red beans. The malays were also attracted by the Nonya Chendol, and the Nonya chendol became more popular.

As we move on to the 1980s, more cold beverages and desserts like Ice-Kacang and Cheng Tng became popular too. The government got rid of mobile hawkers and many Hainanese either gave up their chendol stalls or passed on the trade to others. Hollywood Chendol @ Bedok Bus Interchange Food Centre is the only pure Hainese Chendol left in Singapore. Its founder Mr Lee Chang Mao followed his father back then to Geylang's Hollywood Cinema to sell Nonya Chendol. After which, he joined hands with his partner Mr Xie Gui Ling and set up a shop in the brand new Bedok Bus Interchange Hawker Centre. He sold his chendol in a cup then, but now required a bowl to fill all the ingredients up. He was the 1st one who added new things into the chendol - Red beans, Chin Chow, Cai Yan, etc etc. When the MRT was up and running during the 1990s, his chendol stall became even more popular. Hollywood Chendol hence became a very famous chendol name.

Hollywood Chendol - Blk 207, #01-66, New Upper Changi Rd Cooked Food Centre

On the other hand, as more rich Indonesian Chinese migrated to Singapore, the Indonesia Chendol became famous again back in the 1970s. The chendol appeared as a dessert in Indonesian restaurants. In the 9080s, Orchard Road even had a "Chendol House", and sold only 10 over types of chendols. The Chendol House was very famous in Orchard Road during the 1980s. As the Chendol House branched out to more desserts, it was revamped into a formal restaurant, and became part of the dessert list in the restaurant.

shite. no wonder I only like the Hollywood chendol. It was the only chendol I ever ate. I am nonya to the bone.

I have no hope for chendol ever again!!!! WOE IS ME!!!!!!!

2005-10-25T19:45:00.000+10:00

I just watched Keira's version of Pride and Prejudice, and am now proud to say I've seen the 3 most mainstream adaptations of the book. (The BBC miniseries, the Bollywood, and this one)

oh Matthew McFayden. he starts off "okay-handsome", steadily gets handsomer as he eats up the screen, and by the time he comes strolling out of the mist with a half-unlaced shirt early in the morning had me swooning. No wet t-shirts here but I don't think I could have handled that anyway.

I still think Keira is a) overrated b) overexposed but c) still pretty in a ballsy way

but hey. the BBC's elisabeth was much better.

Colin Firth will never live down being "Mr Darcy" ever, (did anyone notice his name in Bridget Jones? or the reference made in Bridget2?) but well, yeah. Matthew is much better eye candy. Just get him to shave those damn sideburns.

listening to: The Piano

bird flu shmird flu

2005-10-24T23:35:00.000+10:00

Strike One for the Asian Values Proponents.

I personally don't believe in Asian Values per se, but they do have a point when it comes to medical epidemics.

The cure for malaria has been found in plants, but no one is willing to fund the research to turn them into easily administerable pills to save entire nations. I personally get angry when I read stuff like that, especially because my maids come from such a community in need of help. somehow, their lives just don't mean as much. "Thousands of people die each hour in Africa due to HIV" vs "16 people die in avalanche alpine disaster/bus crash, 2 people die in New Orleans" hmmm. hmmm......HMMMMMM.....

The Ebola Virus, The SARS Outbreak, the Nipah Virus and of course the Bird Flu Virus. Funny little things that happen in funny continents where there be third world conditions.

Yes, they jumped species due to overly close contact between human and animal, but you're going to tell me that malaria (not virus) happened that way too? and the HIV virus. c'mon. it's not a 3rd world/gay man disease anymore. which is why there's AIDS awareness.

but nooooooo. all these funny dieases, they be coming from evilevil deepest Asia/Africa where there be heathens. People in loincloths who live swinging from tree to tree or walking from savannah to oasis in flowing robes surrounded by panthers and zebras as their companions.

and as a doctor said during the bird flu epidemic of HK, only when the "western nations" read: the US, Canada, UK, Australia get afflicted do they do anything about it.

If not, it's all up to WHO, NGOs, and "oh pity them let's sing a song" political activisty singers (and the occasional actor) who'll actually tell someone to DO SOMETHING

but looky here, what do we have here? One parrot in quarantine(interestingly identified as "from South America"), 3 pigeons from Canada and all of a sudden, they're holding a world summit and the Indonesian president is quoted as saying this could be "worse than the tsunami".

Play the "pity" card, the "trust me I'm Asian and I have 1st hand dealings with diseases and tsunamis and various natural disasters in epic proportions" card, and the "interviewing the minority" card all just to inculcate fear into the loving anti-Pauline Hanson public.

wonderful.

and you wonder why we are so cynical.

and you wonder why we're so warped when we say that children aren't as sacred as they are to the west. I still don't understand the 1 child dies, 4 others proclaimed dead" headlines. Really, children are just small people-people who will eventually grow into normal-sized people-people. Sheesh.

Listening to: the sound of huge trucks outside my window, driving along just washed with rain main roads.

2005-10-24T23:05:00.000+10:00

I'm a Campanella White Volkswagen Beetle!

President for you on line 2! Every once in a while you might take a break from your high-profile life and drive your Campanella White Beetle around, but with the responsibilities of whatever leadership role you've found yourself in, that time might be rather limited.

What kind of Volkswagen New Beetle are you?

swish

2005-10-23T21:48:00.000+10:00

while chatting to chalyz over the phone a couple of days ago, I came to an epiphany of sorts, my own personal online/ontap shrink. well maybe not so much my shrink as the key to that darned secret garden in my own personal house of winchester. I have to turn the locks myself, have to step in if I dare, but chalyz is like a catalyst of sorts.

chatting to her, I realised so many things about myself that I hadn't realised before, or had always known but never confronted.

and as I've mulled over it these past few days, I realise how much of my personality stems from this.

Maslow's Hierachy of Needs. it's one giant mindmap. One giant flowchart.

and as I was soaking myself in the shower, rinsing out my intensive treatment/knots in my back and neck/this really teary feeling I've been getting for the past few days (it's a sum of many things- all to do with the job and maybe a little to do with the fatigue, let's not get into it) I realised that good things do come out of it.

I may be far more damaged than I let on, so much so that no one sees it- not even myself. But some of my best points come from it.

I haven't gotten mad in a long time, and only one person can push all my buttons. And it's a good thing we're over a thousand miles apart. Damn modern technology.

and I realise through recent trials that my infinite patience, my deadly calm, my tolerance, and my lack of expectations, my independence...they're all byproducts. Byproducts of my will to survive.

I may give the impression of a panic-stricken child when thrown into the deep end, but deep ends seem to be the only classroom I understand. and I realise that if things happen to me personally, I am deadly calm. It's only when other people are involved, when other people are directly or indirectly my responsibility that I get shaken.

The phoenix will fly on, my constant reminder. and perhaps the only thing I truly rely on. and one day, when I am ready, I will finally let myself go.

listening to: radiohead- creep

2005-10-23T17:51:00.000+10:00

According to Asian BMI standards, I am OBESE. not overweight, OBESE. downright obese.

this depresses the shit out of me, especially when your friends try to comfort you by saying it's all muscle and you look "tough". TOUGH???? like STOCKY? like Jojo Sinclair?

or someone says you're "not THAT fat"

ack ack ack ack ack.

see, I don't mind being toned. like

THIS

but "tough" just makes me sound like a stocky oompa loompa.

besides. hasn't anyone seen my 2-pack gone the way of the UN lately? GAAAAAAH.

***

in other news. someone's stealing my wardrobe...and I think I made a work booboo.

BOO.

listening to Counting Crows

2005-10-23T00:02:00.000+10:00

sometimes, you don't realise how much you miss till you have it back.

2005-10-21T01:14:00.000+10:00

I met up with Magicman and laughed till I cried today. It's been such a long time since I laughed that hard.

And all it took was a few baby voices, my fievel impression, and some simpering. well, that and my Singaporean impression.

***

I feel sorry for someone atm, but at the same time, am rather apprehensive about the whole situation. will stew and get back to you.

listening to: Fleetwood Mac- Dreams

2005-10-17T22:16:00.000+10:00

sense.

I was dinged at by a tram driver the same way truck drivers honk at you from their tankers, needless to say, I was most amused.

I was chatted up by some guy who was afraid of being bombed in Flinders, who thought my name was Muslim, and asked me if I could finish my "thick book".

I went for my second engagement party, another Indian one- but this one was Sikh.

I was happily munching on some asian sweet snack, when the writing caught my eye.

I hereby present my munchings in order of logical relevance:
I mean, the first three make sense....spelling otherwise.

then comes Squid- Black ink. Which is fine in the logical train of things....but then it says

"Rhinoceros- Think Big" as in the rhino is smart? or big in size?

and of course, the clincher "Horse- Gallop away"

did they choose that particular turn of phrase just so they could use the word "gallop"? Gallop isn't an everyday word you can use I guess, unless you really really want to, and then onlyy inreference to large dogs- assuming that you have a large dog. Sure, gallop has a rather nice trotting ring to it but lots of things gallop away. Other than horses. like donkeys, mules...even the odd lanky teenager.

I could if I wanted to.

listening to: Verve Pipe- Freshmen

2005-10-16T01:31:00.000+10:00

engagement.marriage. broken shoes. banghra dancing.

driftwood

2005-10-12T21:32:00.000+10:00

And you really didn't think it would happen

But it really is the end of the line

So I'm sorry that you've turned to driftwood

But you've been drifting for a long, long time

I realise that I haven't told several friends many things for a long time. and by this I mean MANY. MANY things a friend should know.

And normally, I'm cool with that. My friends tend to be the sort I can not talk to for light years, and then instantly snap back into place again the moment we reestablish connection.

But recently, I've been drifting, because I realised that while we're all changing, I seem to have done so at warp speed in the past 1.5 years, leaving a trail of, well, entrails behind.

All these marriages, engagements, babies, even brushes with death that don't include me in the equation. All that independence with people who are acquainted with the term in the true meaning. All this clawing all my life and finally I'm ready to stop for a little while. A few months at least. I'll still have to scratch around a little, but you know, just to keep the claws and the drive in shape.

Nobody is an island

Everyone had to go

Pillars turn to butter

Butterflying low

Low is where your heart is

But your heart has to grow

Drifting under bridges

Never with the flow

I've long shouldered responsibility for myself and others. But now, I've leapfrogged into actually being comfortable with that. Comfortable with the fact that it's now my own idea to pay for everything, comfortable with the idea that hey, I can actually do this. Comfortable with the idea that I actually know where I'm going and considering my options on how to get there.

I'm comfortable with taking a look at myself with a critical eye and seeing that really, I can be quite a hellspawn at times.

and I realise some of my friends are falling behind. Years behind. and I can't do anything about it.

and I realise some aren't falling behind, but apart. It's funny how the same thing can result in two vastly different results when used on two different people with different backgrounds, mindsets, morals, values.

but I also realise that sometimes, I am some sort of floating island. and sometimes, I realise I'm not really an island. I'm driftwood. Driftwood saddened that my life has to go on, without the other little pieces of me. The pieces that made me who I am today, the pieces of me that made me in some way, whole. Reconstructable driftwood.

and yet I also realise, the quantity of good friends seems to diminish in exponential proportion as we get older. The ease of finding people just....doesn't happen. People start coming in few and far between, also because of the nature of our lives I guess. Maybe.

You're driftwood floating underwater

Breaking into pieces, pieces, pieces

Just driftwood, hollow and of no use

Waterfalls will find you, bind you, grind you

2005-10-12T00:43:00.000+10:00

FOUND

an lbd.

never have I found one, normally matching my tops with my chaos (as I call it) SPG skirt.

now I've found one. ha.

***

I need more work clothes. I need more skirts of a decent, non-mini length.

**

still hunting for a particular dress which I suspect I'll have to design and get tailored myself. and a qipao.

*

feel much beter than I have all week.

2005-10-12T00:38:00.000+10:00

I've started SHOPPING for work.

oh. my. god.

I am also almost last woman standing.

BAH.

oof.

2005-10-10T22:16:00.000+10:00

sometimes some words don't traslate well into english. like 'ma fan' or 'fan ying chi dun'

meant to go to dandenong today but decided to use mac crystals instead of a tikka.

that meant, I bought some stuff for the choc shop, forgot to collect my suit from cue, and couldn't find my boss' beloved round-tipped frothing jug. (found it online! erm, chalyz? Can I borrow your card and I pay you???? I want to surprise him!!!!)

it's a sad day when you realise your life revolves around work, and worse still when you're excited by things like....12.5kg boxes instead of 40kg ones. clean tea strainers. yellow cloths. trays. incoming impending deliveries/repairs. When you seriously consider your company's theme song as your ringtone (only from work of course), and when you go shopping....for work.

gosh.

anyway, I've come to realise that perhaps the 14 year old girl in me is still not fully gone. and I guess it never will be since I've evolved from her.

I've decided to panic less, and feel more.

listening to: Julie London- Fly Me To The Moon.

FREE KATIE'S SCREAMS!!

2005-10-09T00:37:00.000+10:00

"The newest face of Scientology, Katie Holmes, plans to give birth in silence. Scientology followers abide by Hubbard's rule that not only are women not allowed to use any sort of painkillers during childbirth, they are also not allowed to scream. The bizarre ritual - which Scientologists believe should be carried out to prevent children from turning mad - is nothing new to Cruise who insisted the biological mothers of the adopted children he had with Nicole Kidman have their babies in silence, according to a 2001 report in America's New York Post newspaper. In Dianetics, you try and keep the delivery room quiet so there's nothing recorded in the child's mind that shouldn't be there while there's pain going on."

from reddirtgirl

stayer quitter

2005-10-08T21:23:00.000+10:00

I mean, everyone talks about this bloody speech

probably second only to peanuts....

but.

as I told my friend a few minutes ago. what about the fighters? huh?

the quitters quit, the stayers marinate in one spot, and all that's left are the fighters, fighting tooth, claw and nail.

we don't exist in singapore because the singapore government hasn't decreed we exist. and we exist in some grey area...in and out of public conciousness. and that's why we never really fit in singapore either. A country filled with stayers and quitters.

listening to: Sarah McLachlan- Elsewhere

turn turn turn

2005-10-08T19:22:00.000+10:00

2 of us we were singing 90s songs at work today....it started with me singing "Dizzy".

and no one knew what we were singing. egawd. I am growing old.

but I've also realised how much I've changed. It's to be expected. But even from 21-23, the sheer amount.

I remember talking to chalyz, and her comment this morning about being so touched that someone who wasn't hitting on her was calling her beautiful. And I remember a time when I would have been, but now, if someone did, I'd think they were fishing for compliments. Especially if they come from the hospitality/entertainment/beauty/media industry.

I realise how insular I have become.

and I realise how callous I have become.

I realise how cynical I am. I have always been cynical, very much so. but it's just been taken up a notch more.

I don't believe in the milk of human kindness. I don't believe in nice people. I don't believe in any of that. They're mythical things. Like unicorns and centaurs.

I've grown stronger, maybe harder. Maybe not. Maybe I've even allowed myself to grow softer. Let people in, express emotions more frequently.

and here it is. that virulent personality encapsulated in a girl with a face that looks....sweet. cheeky occassionally, sometimes sly because of cat eyes. Many people have told me I look like one of those atas yet classy bitches who hang round Paragon too much, the ones who have that "come near me and I might sneeze" look. But hey. at least they look good.

but no one expects the personality they eventually meet. A cagey, cynical, pacing, fighting scratching, ferocious feline underneath. The feline who'll watch you out of narrowed eyes as you watch them, and when you're least expecting it, swipes you. the cute cuddly one who plays with you, but then turns round on people they don't like and scratches them to ribbons.

listening to: my friend on jazz piano.

2005-10-07T14:44:00.000+10:00

listening to: Fuel- Shimmer

reading: Neal Stephenson- Dianmond Age

being: hermit. recovering from DOM run-in last night.

Shut the door, throw the key

2005-10-03T23:26:00.000+10:00

I hereby decree this friday Hermit Day. I am not answering phonecalls, going out till late in the evening (because someone's already booked me in for buffet) etc. Instead, I shall be Apartment Cleaning, mooching and RELAXING. God, the concept seems so remote at this point in time.

so everyone who reads this, if you were thinking about friday, FORGEDDABOUDDIT.